Well, you didn’t ask for it, but you’re getting it anyway.  The 3 days we spent on Amtrak were the highlight of our trip.  I actually liked the train.  (I’d love to take a girl’s trip for the entire Sunset Limited run from New Orleans to Los Angeles)  M. and I were traveling alone of course, and since we spend on average 18 hours a day together (yep, we’ve done that for over a year now…and still the voodoo doll hasn’t kicked in…that’ll teach me to order from the priestesses in the back of the Enquirer tabloid), we had little to talk about. 

 

 

Fortunately, because we spent a week in Sun City (where the Village of the Damned kids now hang out…no, they didn’t die at the end of the movie…they just relocated), many of the people who were on the train with us through the first leg of our trip were also on the return train.  However, if you didn’t enjoy them the first time around, they don’t get better with age (are family vacations ever fun?…we only took one real vacation the whole time I was growing up and it was a relative disaster…but I guess that’s not a lot to go on).  We had a list of interesting folks including a group of excited Amish people (excited Amish…there’s a phrase you don’t hear too often), a crazy group of rednecks (they waste a lot of time putting makeup on those guys for the Geico caveman commercials…the dad was perfect for it…it kinda creeped me out), about 50 members of an urban youth gospel singing group (why are Christian groups so loud? Does God need a hearing aid?…and let me tell ya…don’t put these guys and the Amish together…it was a hoedown from hell one car back…yet another great country song waiting to be written), a sexy young Australian lad on his way to L.A., a bonifide nutcase (she got off in the middle of nowhere…the conductors kept checking to be sure she really wanted to get off there because it had been years since anyone had gotten off at that stop), and a cast of thousands (mainly thousands of children…M.’s vacation equals vacation for all the brats…one family had either 5 or 6 kids…it was hard to tell how many exactly since they were always moving…and all of them were about 2 seats in front of us).  And that was pretty much just our car.

 

 

Want to see the sights?

 

 

 

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.  To be fair, after El Paso, they have different types of cactus.  It was so desolate that at one point I literally woke M. up in the middle of the night because there were a handful of houses to look at.  Oh, and, Alpine, Texas was a nice little college town in the middle of nowhere (if you want to send your kids to a college where there is almost no chance of them partying through mid-terms, this is the spot), but otherwise, enjoy the occasional sheep, goat, deer, or cow; they’re all you really get to watch move (the train engineer had a game in which he tried to spot rattlesnakes…yeah, even he was bored by the view).  I did get to see Mexico which is a place I’ve been wanting to see for years (wonder if the other relatives got to go there too…freakin’ Grand Canyon).  Yep, this is Mexico:

 

 

Amtrak, how do I love thee?  Eh…not so much.  Having never traveled by Greyhound, I have to take M.’s word for it that Amtrak is far superior to the Dog.  There are major pluses: dining car service, relatively comfortable seating, lots of people from all walks of life, booze.  In other words, you have to get on the train with the right friendly attitude which is especially valuable when you’re stuck on said train for a day and a half with nothing to look at but wasteland.  With this in mind, here’s some basic info to keep you from looking like an Amtrak Coach virgin:

 

 

Baggage- Amtrak says each Coach traveler gets 2 small carry-on’s (small duffel bags or those tiny child-size suitcases) and 2 additional bags (including purses and backpacks).  As you enter the train, there’s a baggage area for your heavier carry-on’s and you can get away with a medium size suitcase if you toss it under the shelf there.  We managed to stay a week with a daily change of clothes and 2 special outfits (ok I had 3 or 4) by using Space Bags with one child-size suitcase and one small duffel.  Of course, most of our toiletries and travel items were contained in one large tote/purse and one pretty big backpack (trust me those who know me IRL are freakin’ amazed by this!).  There’s also a fair amount of room in the overhead area above the seats.

 

 

Children- Having seen this a lot over my 3 days on a train, I’d advise having one adult per child.  Kids will wander all over the train.  It’s what they do.  I was cool with it except for a couple of kids that wandered from car to car constantly and without supervision (including one that changed her outfit about 3 times a day…and every outfit was pajamas…wth?…then again, the same kid’s family also had a bitch fight in the middle of our car over the teen’s overuse of cell phone minutes…classy group…and they managed to be with us for most of both train rides). 

 

 

Seating- Coach and the fancier Reserved Coach (yeah you’re still Coach, trust me) passenger seating is on the upper deck of the train (the bathrooms and handicapped seating are on the bottom floor with the extra baggage area).  The seating is pretty roomy even for BBW’s (a fellow traveler was about a size 28 and I’m a bootylicious size 24 if that helps you decide…also if you’re traveling alone, you’ll usually get both seats to yourself from what I saw on the Sunset Limited although you probably can’t on some of the other Amtrak routes) and you get a foot rest, a pull up leg rest, and the seat reclines a bit.  You can sleep relatively easily on the train (even I could and I’m the one who usually barely sleeps on driving trips), but you’re best bet is to hope the train is relatively empty so that you can shove your traveling partner into another set of seats.  Then you can recline both seats and raise the leg rests so that you can get almost into a fetal position.  Do yourself a giant favor and bring a throw and a pillow (tiny pillows are provided, but are relatively useless…a large but flat pillow, a neck pillow, or a sofa size cushion would all work well) because you’re going to be there a while.  Plenty of reading material is also highly recommended (even M. could go through almost 2 thick paperbacks during each leg of the trip). 

 

 

Food- There are two places to eat on the Amtrak Sunset Limited: the dining car and the lounge car.  The lounge car or observation car has a snack bar on the lower deck with a couple of booths while the upper deck has booths and chairs or sofas where you can sit.  The snack bar is far cheaper than the dining car and there are a few vegetarian choices (there’s a range of prices: a personal cheese pizza $3.50, beer $4.00, sodas & coffee/tea/cocoa $2, cheeseburger $6, cinnamon rolls & yogurt & giant cookies $2).  But you’ll get sick of it pretty quickly.  We brought things with us (granola bars, jerky, nuts, bottled water, and even a Green vegan meatball sub dinner…they don’t have a problem with you bringing food on the train or even eating in your seat on the pullout tray…but I’d make it something not too messy and wait until people are awake and moving around before you eat it just to be nice because when everyone’s sleeping the car gets really quiet).  Still, it was very nice to have a couple of dinners in the dining car restaurant (they come to each car to take reservations for lunch and dinner, but breakfast is come as you are…it’s community seating which means unless there are 4 of you, you sit with whoever they want you to…I didn’t mind it much since we sat with a retired couple once and an Orange County couple who hadn’t heard they were about to have to drink sh*t…I thoroughly enjoyed telling them about it…you get to share a lot of info and can learn a lot about other people including politics and family…yeah, I know you’re not supposed to talk about those topics, but it’s not like you’re ever going to see these people again…uhh…except quite possibly on your return trip…just keep your head down and avoid eye contact).  It was a little shock to the wallet at $30 or so for two people (plus tip), but the food was pretty good including their vegetarian specials and Gardenburgers (two of which were lasagna and polenta which our waiter pronounced pol-en-tay…I’d never heard this pronunciation but the Californians had…must be regional because on FoodNetwork it’s pronounced pol-en-tah).  You definitely start to feel like you’re in an old movie in the dining car with the real tablecloth and napkins (in other words, brush up on your etiquette just so you’ll feel more at home if the closest you’ve come to fine dining lately is going inside McDonalds to sit and eat which is about our speed lately…although, Emily Post isn’t roaming the aisles and as long as M. didn’t tuck the tablecloth into his shirt I was pretty happy). 

 

 

Walking- It’s generally a challenge for me to stay upright (you in the back…quit you’re snickering…yeah, I saw you Ginger), and a rocking and rolling train doesn’t help.  Grab onto anything nearby and try to plan your hand-holds in advance.  The hardest place to walk is between cars (you hit the push button and grab the striped bar for dear life as you peer at the tracks rushing beneath you), but it’s doable even with a handful of stuff from the snack bar.

 

 

Bathrooms- One word describes them: disgusting.  Low, flush, chemical, and toilet are perhaps the most dreaded words I have ever heard.  Why oh why didn’t anyone tell me that the people at Clorox put their wipes into little carry-on sizes???  Had I thought of this earlier, I would have put a few into a baggie.  Instead, I had to take one of those Cher Silkwood showers the minute I got home.  It was bad.  But, on the good side, even while on my period, I was able to use the facilities in relative comfort for a BBW (I recommend the first two restrooms as they are the roomiest) with only one mishap (I always wipe everything I’ll touch down both before and after I use the facilities…on my final trip, I finished and wiped everything down when a lovely British gentleman popped in on me…apparently I’d hit the lock while cleaning…thankfully I had already zipped up…the whole scene could have been quite romantic under the right circumstances…have I ever mentioned the fact that I’m an absolute fool for older men with sexy accents?).

Anyhow, that pretty much sums up our entire trip.  Let’s hope the summer brings better things.  Like street legal golf carts!  Yay old people! (well I don’t want them egging my house now do I)