We are officially separated.
He admitted that he probably wouldn’t have married me if he had waited until he came back from Iraq. I knew that, but I kept waiting for him to admit it these past 2 yrs. He’s not ready to leave but he’s not ready to stay married. He’s scared to move on, but the alternative hasn’t been working.
He was hoping I’d go to Joe and it would blow up in my face. It wasn’t a desire for reprisal as much as a desire for vindication.
We don’t hate each other. M. told me that I’m his best friend, but that he treats his best friends pretty crappy too.
Nothing has been settled really. So far, we’re going to work the plan, and play it by ear. There’s a lot of shame here, and we are waiting a few weeks before we tell our families.
He’s sorry.
I’m sorry.
I don’t know what my future is anymore.
I’m still sick.
{{HUGS}} I’m sorry… wish there were some great words of wisdom to make things easier for you, but I don’t know them if they exist.
Aww sweetie – I’m really sorry to hear things aren’t working out. There’s nothing to say when you are going through this sort of loss. Just keep typing it out, and lean on your support system. We are here for you!
I’m very grateful to have all of you in my “life”. I’m very sad, and I’m a little angry too. I’ve wasted years of my life. Every time I’ve lost at love, I found a silver lining, but it’s not coming this time.
Honeywine, I’m so sorry to hear this. If there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask. So damn sorry to hear this.
Honey I am here. I will call you tomorrow as it is almost 11. Who knows, you’re probably still awake, but if you’re not I don’t want to wake you up. Sometimes sleep is the only way to stop your brain. I love you, I am here always.
So sorry. But it sounds like you both gave it your all and you’re now making a responsible, well thought out decision. Having said that, I know it still hurts. {hugs}
I’m so sorry. At least everything is out in the open, now and you can begin to move on with your life.
((((HUGS))))
I’m sorry you have to go through all this….nothing to say except sending you warm thoughts and hugs…it WILL get better.
Well, this news just sucks. I’m always sorry when a marriage doesn’t work out but I’d rather see people go their separate ways before one of them, or both, is damaged beyond repair. You are still very young and can both be very happy. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
It’s been coming a long time. I think I knew it was over when he moved into the other room before. He was so happy then, and it was only when I told him that he couldn’t stay here that that changed. I just tried to convince myself we could make it, but you should never doubt the I-Ching. Funny thing is I would NEVER ask the I-Ching if I should marry him. I made the conscious decision not to because I wanted to be married and have a family, and he was saying all the right things. I knew all this 3yrs ago, but I just tried to ignore it. I’m old enough to know better. We can’t find a balance together. It’s no good. It’s time to pull my heart out of it.
As for Joe, I’m not telling him any of this. I want to feel him out and see where the truth of it lies. He’s right when he says that we never really gave “us” a real chance. But I think I’m too numb right now to fall for the lines. I’ve always been an “actions” person, and now that’s all I’m going to look at.
The next few months are going to be really hard. He’ll be here until he graduates in December at least and probably for a month or two longer until he gets a job and has money to leave. For the first time in decades, I sooo am not feeling Christmas.
Ron- Kinda beats the hell out of seeing more in an email romance than was there. I’d say I’ve got you beat by a few years.
You know that you can always come visit at Christmas…or send M. to Arizona. If you can’t live with him in the house, there are things he can do to find a place to go. You should not let yourself be miserable for months and months because you feel sorry for him.
I am so sorry. I know that agreeable or not this hurts like hell. If you need to talk I am just an email away. I think you are such a bright shiny person and have grown to care about your life. I wish you all the happiness in the world.
damn, had my name wrong. Comment above is Marie.
hugs you…. seperating is never easy…
the 1st few weeks the sadness will start to be over come with anger …strength will become your friend..
i had to do this last year after 15 years of marrige.
**hugs**
I’m so sorry. I’ve been, somewhat, in your shoes…and while its probably no comfort right now, I can tell you that it WILL get better. Hang in there, honey.
Oh sweetie! *hands you a gallon of chocolate ice cream, with 2 spoons, a box of tissue, and a shoulder* I wish your heart peace, soon. Hang in there honey. Go fall into your best friend’s lap right now. You need her and she wants to help. Lots of deep breaths and take care of YOU!
-D *HUGS*
Thank you every one of you. I’m really very good…uh but Danielle…I’ll totally take the ice cream.
I’m still a good bit angry because he had at least a year when I’m sure he knew his heart wasn’t in it anymore and he just let me twist in the wind. That’s sucky. I think sucky shall be my new word du jour.
I’m actually feeling really good right now. I did let Tina in on the situation because I had to. She’s mentioned a few options that I didn’t know I had as far as local educational opportunities. I’d really like to get my RN, but the only way I can do that is to take something quick like a phlebotomy course (drawing blood, etc. for hospitals). That would let me work and go to school (M.’s GI Bill would only cover 18 mos. of a 27 mos. course and I couldn’t afford 9 mos of college with the job at Brian’s alone). But I’ll have to check everything out this week. I can’t even really do the applications yet for most of it because M. has to finish his schooling first before he can turn his GI Bill over to me.
I’m having lunch with Joe this week. No, he does not know I’m separated. He’s just a ho.
It’s more of a reconnect thing. I really want to see him. I want to see if he’s changed as much as he thinks he has. And believe me…I’ll know. And unlike the current mess I’m in, I don’t think I’ll be so quick to ignore my intuition. I’m going with my gut.
Hey look at that a silver lining, a lesson learned! And here’s more: If I had never met M., I never would have met Ginger (and that would just been such a crime! no BFF? NO WAY!). And, I probably wouldn’t have started blogging and I wouldn’t have met ya’ll. As screwy as I’ve been these last few months, ya’ll have kept me going! Thanks again.
But I need to be quiet for a day or so. I’ll be back soon to tell you all about Joe and whatever else!
Wow – I’m just now reading this. And, I am so sorry. It seems as though you both have put some thought into this and I admire you both for that. {{{HUGS}}}. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
I am so sorry also. It is such hard thing to go through. But if you are not happy together, it is for the best.
I am so, so, sorry. I have not been able to keep up my blogs lately. So I have a lot of catching up to do. But for now, Honeywine, just know that I am really sorry and hoping that you both find peace with it . . .
Oh, my heart hurts for you. I know there aren’t any words that will make this easier. Just know you are in my prayers.
Im so sorry. Be strong. When one door shuts another opens. Really. The furtor is wide open now.
Big hugs your way. Keep your head up, girl.
Oh crap. I’m SO sorry that I haven’t been around to read your blog. I would have realized how much you were hurting although no words, I think, would have been supportive enough.
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and I’m sending you TONS of cyber hugs!
{{{HUGS}}}
Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry! Massive hugs! Please let me know if you ever need an ear – you know I’ve been there and got the bloody t-shirt! I’m around anytime xx
wow! i cont read blogs for a few days and the world goes to shit! i’m so sorry about this…
I’m sorry things seem such a mess right now, but I’m glad to hear you’re taking steps to take care of you. Thinking of you.
Honey,
I am so sorry things didn’t work out. I was really rooting that it would. I know it is hard to find a silver lining to this. At least you aren’t stuck in limbo now. You have the answers that you wanted and as soon as he is out of the house you can move on. It might take a few months for him to get out and get on his feet and I know it will be hard. Just know you have friends out here that you can vent to. If you need anything, just let me know.
I wanted to peek back over on this post and say thanks again for all the support ya’ll. Thanks again!
And I wanted to say hello to Danielle, Tonya Cinnamon, and BlondBlogger. BlondBlogger and Daniel, ya’ll are being added to the blog roll. Tonya, if you’ve got a blog, I’d love to welcome you in as well.
Oh, Honey… Sorry sweetie. Sometimes removing a yoke still hurts.