.What a difference 2 days makes!  I don’t know how many of you read the comment section for the last post, but some things went down Monday night. 

 

Monday morning after I wrote that last post I sent an email to Gig ending it.  In fact, I apologized for making it hard for him to dump me because…well…I had made it hard for him.  When he first tried to dump me Saturday night, I asked him to rethink it because we’re damned good together and that just doesn’t come along all the time.  I was willing to compromise because I just didn’t want to give up on it over something so small as 2 hours.  But by the time, I woke up that Monday morning at 4am something inside me knew to step back and let him go.  I knew that if he got his head straight he’d be back.  I didn’t think it would happen this way…

 

Monday night, Ginger and I were online chatting and she told me that Gig had sent her a friend request.  Uh huh…  Over the course of the evening the two of them ended up messaging each other and Ginger kind of tore into him.  He kind of freaked.  I made Ginger be nice because I’ve never thought ill of Gig.  He might be a bit screwed up about what he wants but he’s never tried to hurt me or to be dishonest with me (in fact, it’s himself he’s more dishonest with).  We left it at that.

 

By Tuesday, I was sitting in Dr. MM’s office and stewing.  There are only 2 reasons to message my best friend: (1) you’re a nasty jackass who is trying to get with her or (2) you’re trying to stir the pot to see if I still give a damn.  I got more and more ticked.  By the time I got home, I called Ginger and told her I wasn’t putting up with this crap.  He wanted out and I dropped it.  I didn’t text, email, or call.  Fin!  Then he goes and does that?  Hells nah!  As Ginger and I were talking she noticed that he had gotten online and I said goodbye to her and started dailing his number.

 

I read him the riot act for a start and said all the things that had been in my mind for 2 days!  He sat very quietly and barely spoke for a very long time while I got all this off my chest.  When he did start talking, he sounded…humbled. 

 

Some of the highlights?

 

I told him that I didn’t appreciate being made to feel like I was crazy for liking him.  And that although I had feelings for him and he had feelings for me, it did not mean that I was about to go stalker on his ass.  I was seeing other people while I was seeing him, but I had never once mentioned it (I don’t tell the men I date about one another…everyone wants to feel like they’re the only one…and unless we are specifically exclusive, I feel it’s an unannounced reality that I will be dating others).  When he heard that, he got very, VERY quiet.  I don’t think he believed that I wasn’t completely caught up in him until that moment.  I think it bothered him.  He was soon reminded that I have at least 6 men trying to talk to me at any given moment.  I have never had a problem finding men.  Most of them seem to think I’m their dream girl because of the way I think about life, etc.  And, I was not about to go insane over Gig’s ass.

 

Then he started letting little things trickle out.  (I’m totally paraphrasing here btw)

 

Gig- People end up talking marriage (his recent ex is who he was referring to). 

 

Me- Uh…no.  I’m STILL married.  And, even if I weren’t, I told you long ago that I’m not really looking to do that again any time soon.  Did I ever even say to you, “Let’s be exclusive?”  No, I didn’t.  You put all that on yourself.  You didn’t even ask me what I thought about any of it.

 

Gig- You have a life up there and your job and you aren’t going to leave that.  And, I have my job and it took a long time for me to get it and I can’t leave it.

 

Me- Did I ask you to?  I know how good your job is (he’s a cement truck driver in the commercial industry…good money), and I know that mine is pretty easily replaced.  IF…IF…we’d gotten to that point, I knew that I’d be the one to move and make the major changes.  Was I going to do that soon?  NO.  I wouldn’t do something like that without knowing that there’s a committment being made. 

 

Did I not say that he goes there the same way I do?  lol  We both tend to jump ahead and think about the future when we shouldn’t.  Apparently, I am the only one who knows better than to let it rule my actions. 

 

So, what came out of this 2 hour conversation?  First, it’s pretty obvious to him now that he let his own illusions get the better of him.  Second, I have a pretty good idea as to what he feels for me (I broke off the phone conversation to get online because I had a couple of new guys waiting for me…Gig got online and I was talking about one of the guys and he basically stopped me…he didn’t want to know).  Third, we have pulled things way back, but we’re talking about seeing each other tomorrow since I’ll be down there anyhow.  So we’ve taken two steps forward and one step back.  Helluva dance! 

 

Oh, and I asked about the sex.  I didn’t think it was bad.  I hate to sound conceited but…I may not have been all the way around the block, but I know good.  But since you might have wondered if that was the problem, I’ll let you hear it in his own words verbatim:  “I have never lost control like that.  Usually I make sure to control myself, so that I don’t hurt someone.”  Uh, yeah, I was taking Tylenol for 4 days post Gig.  Word to the wise, never ever tell a Gigantor to “make it hurt”.  Ok.  lol  There are certain looks that men have that tell you everything they are feeling, and I saw that “OMG…I CAN’T THINK…AMAZING” look on his face more than once that weekend.  I knew I wasn’t deluding myself about that.

 

Probably more than you wanted to know though…am I right?  lol

 

 

.