Can’t we just have sex instead?

 

The way my head feels (or should I say has felt for the last 5 days) I’d like a Squish and he can have my brain.  That’s from Lexx (so’s the title).  Man, I wish they’d put it back on Scifi channel or Syfy or however the heck they’re spelling it these days.  I guess an abbreviation of actual words wasn’t cool enough.  Whatev…  Like I said, my brain is bound and determined to escape by force.  Sucks to be it though because all that bone and skin is trapping it.  There’s a freakin’ cage fight goin’ on up in here.  Paladin is WebMDing me to death because he hates being helpless and oh yeah, he’s a hypochondriac!  Straight up!  He even occasionally admits to it.

I’m just going to giggle at your posts to forget and show off wedding dress numero dos:

No, I'm not pissed just dying inside.

I should be beaten for not putting on my upholstered strapless bra with that.  The only people in my life who know how to corset are Dave and Will.  The Brothers can and will tie you in until you can’t breath.  Tina and Paladin always seem to be afraid of getting it too tight and with a corset, that’s kind of the point.  I barely had the patience to try it on this morning.  I couldn’t stomach the idea of putting it on with the bra and then having to take it all off again because the bra was showing.  So, I just went for it. 

Closer view of the front.

I think I may have to add a dart under each arm because the bust is pretty roomy and it’s that or stuff.  HA!  I’m a DDD.  I don’t stuff!  Still, I like it considering that it took less than 2 hours to make and only cost $2 (I had to buy a spool of ivory ribbon to edge the underarms and to make the waist band).  Some of you are probably wondering how the heck that is possible.  Well, I had a wedding dress from my first marriage:

I did love that dress.  It was beautiful and covered my arm flab!  So when it came time to make the first wedding dress this time around, I made the decision to let go of my superstitious nature and use the sleeves of that dress.  They are simply dazzling.

With all of that beading they weigh a freakin’ ton!  I was able to cut them off of the original dress without damaging the bodice at all.  Since I was all “in for a penny, in for a pound” about it, I also used the side panels, which are also heavily beaded, for dress number one.  Part way through this, I noticed that the way I had cut the dress apart it would take no time at all to make a second dress out of the original wedding dress.  Literally, I had to restitch some of the seams because of the way the panels came off and put that ribbon on.  Nothing to it.  The only real hiccup was that the points at the top of the bodice wouldn’t stay up (they were attatched to the sleeves before and now had no support).  I just added a loop to each point and the extra lacing from the back (which was original to the dress) is looped through before tying to make spaghetti straps!  I picked up the wrap a while back at a shop down the street (JCS in Deridder had them for under $15 with lovely beading and embroidery!), and voila!

To be honest, I feel a little like I escaped from a prom in it, but I like it and adding my 100+ inch mantilla style veil and Queen Anne style tiara and my bouquet should prove me bridal enough.  Oh, and I finally got another cord for the other camera.  So, here are some pics of the bouquet and other decor up close:

Bouquet and veil

Bouquet and veil 2

Each of the men had these arm bracers.

Tina stamped our tree with birds and a deer design on each of the leather bracers that we bought from a guy named Boric on Ebay which turned out to be a girl named Dana.  Ebay you are a mystery.  Oh, and the book is one of about a dozen books of love poetry classics that I had lying around as decorations.  Did I mention that I had to decorate the black cardstock myself( i.e.-spray paint a gold stencil)?  Now, I know why people don’t use all black invites!

The invites.

Each invite came with a peacock feather.

This was one of the flower arrangements in the dining room.

That’s mostly feathers.  Told ya, we’d have made a gay man proud!  I’m glad we didn’t have a real theme for this wedding.  Well, other than key words like: dark, mysterious, fairies, warriors, birds, trees, exotic, sparkle.  I guess looking at the pictures it doesn’t look all brought together really, but in the night with blue lights strung overhead and highlighting the big oak tree on the side of the house and all of the bushes, we pulled off exotic, mysterious sparkle!

Top of the altar.

All of the wall hangings were sheets we bought at Walmart ($13 for the king size…no hemming!  just rip part of the seam at the top edge to open up a pocket for hanging) and were painted by either me or Tina.  I did this one which was a copy of the stamp we used on the bracers and in the background of the parchment of the invitations.

This arrangement was odd but it worked in person.

The top of the altar was a board that my Dad had sawed on our sawmill back when I was a kid.  That flower arrangement was kind of odd, but it did work.  You can’t see it in the pic but there were peacock feathers all through it and that fuzzy looking stuff is baby’s breath covered in glitter that I got at Hobby Lobby (it’s also the stuff filling in my bouquet).  I’d like to go on record as wanting an entire hangar covered in that glittered baby’s breath.  I am in love with that stuff and it was only like $13 for a bouquet of it.  I got mine half price during a sale which is how I got all of the flowers.  I loves me some silk flowers, glitta, & feathers!  Woot!

gold tree branches with xmas ornaments

We cut a lot of branches back in the spring and I gathered them up and stored them.  Then I forced poor Paladin to spray paint them gold.  We added some simple Christmas ornaments (also a half price sale at Hobby Lobby…that’s about $1 for 6 ornaments…we used about 10pks.).  The red lanterns were an impulse buy from a Walmart Memorial Day clearance sale at $2.50 each.  I covered the bottoms of them in glitter and I so wish I’d bought twice as many!

We had masks and mini-tambourines as favors (about $100 from an online Mardi Gras shop), and you’d better believe I sent plenty of tambourines home with the kids.    The garage was favors and entry way central.  The next morning I woke up to find this:

Blondie fell asleep in her dress and I let her wear it most of the next day!  Everybody complained about me letting her wear it so long.  She’s 6.  She won’t be able to wear that dress forever, and unless she starts doing pageants, this will be one of the few times she gets to dress up.  Besides these pics say it all!

The little girls wandered around the next morning in their jammies.  I fed them wedding cake and punch for breakfast.  I know, I shouldn’t have.  But, it was a special day.  With all that extra sugar, Blondie and Savvy decided they should put on a play!  Aunt Teeni (that’s what they call Tina) had to help, of course.

Indie wore those masks around for days.  She kept wearing them to the hospital to visit Mom.  She’d sneak up beside Mom and go, “Boo!”  Then Mom would go, “Oh!  You scared me!”  They did that for hours. 

Ok, I think I’m done for the week.  If I survive, I’ll see ya’ll Monday or Tuesday.  In the meantime, I intend to hunt Rachel down to see if I can get digital copies of the pics.  It’s so nice that she wanted to send me hard copies, but I’m dying to see them!  I’m off to find Squish…