Long, short, ugly.

Indie: Bite me, Dad.  Bite me, Anna. (a quick nibble by each of us) Now, fire!

 

I’m guessing it was a mistake to let her sit with us while we watched the schlocky 60’s vampire flick.  She would have to pay attention for the 2 minutes of movie where the Van Helsing-esque character gets bitten and then sets his own arm on fire.  Oh well, if I can forgive her giving us her cold, I can hope that she’ll forget that 2 minutes.  I’d worry about it more but they live in a trailer with no fireplace or anything.  If Mull leaves out candles for her to stick her arm into, somebody should get their ass handed to them.  I can totally forgive her for my swollen glands and itchy throat and the snot that will soon follow.  She’s developed a fondness for kisses.  She wants to give you a dozen kisses all at once.  It’s heaven. 

Mull didn’t wait to start crap.  She got an early go of it on Thursday by once again demanding that Paladin give up custody of the children to a church friend rather than her because she was going to be working until 11pm Sunday.  Ummm, NO!  A thousand times no!  How many times does she have to be told how chain of custody works?  I guess she figured that since the agreement was finalized, Paladin would let her do whatever she wants.  He told her “ok” to shut her up because they were in the Army DEERS office and he didn’t want to start a scene.  This touched off a discussion (not quite a fight but hard feelings nonetheless) between he and I.  He intended to agree to shut her up and then take it up with her when he picked up the kids.  I hate that.  I hate that he gives her even an inch because she pushes that inch just as far as she can.  It didn’t escalate into a blow up between us and that’s got to show some progress on the therapy front.  So when Paladin picked up the kids, he pulled out the agreement and explained to her that the section she was pointing out actually meant that whoever had the kids was responsible for getting them to their activities NOT that she could send any serial killer she found to pick them up.  As usual, she made things hard when they didn’t have to be.  We just kept the kids longer than usual and took them to church ourselves.  Simple.  This could all be easier Mull.  We want to help.  Stop being a bitch.  We overlook you being a whore.  At least for the moment.  Lo and behold, Mull got off work at 6.  Did I mention that the store she works at closes at 6 on Sundays?  It’s not like they don’t post that right on the door, Mull.  If you wanted to go home and have some extra time alone with Blind Ass Idiot Boy, just send the kids things.  We’ve told you a million times that we want any extra time with them we can get.  I’m guessing that’s pretty much the definition of “ass monkey”.  *sigh*

The kids were great.  Savvy’s 9th birthday was Friday.  We promised her we’d bring treats to her Girl Scout meeting.  Paladin sat out there waiting for people to show up for half an hour before he finally tracked down the Preacher & his wife who told him it had been canceled.  Gee, and Mull didn’t call.  Odd.  Savvy, fortunately, has the attention span of a fruitfly, and was so thrilled with her Hanna Montana fest that she wasn’t upset by missing out on a birthday party at Girl Scouts.  Nearly every single thing she got was Hanna Montana.  She was so excited when she found out that because we have them on Halloween she gets to be Hanna Montana for trick-or-treat.  Mull hates Hanna Montana and won’t let her watch it or have anything Hanna Montana.  Why?  I mean, it’s annoying as hell, but the kid loves it.  Let her have this.  I got her a locking diary.  It was something she mentioned once and I kept it in mind for her birthday.  She was thrilled.  She got all hot tween stuff here and Mull got her a Barbie doll so she got little girl stuff there.  So, all the bases were covered.

Sunday was more crap (I need to find a better way to describe this little annoying stuff).  Savvy was campaigning heavily to be signed up at church to be a helper in the little kids class.  Paladin was against Savvy being baptized because she just didn’t have a clue as to what that meant, and he’d talked it over with Preacher and Mull (ok, with Mull you don’t talk…you say things and watch as she tunes you out).  They ignored him and did it anyhow.  In fact, Mull didn’t even tell him about it so that he could attend even though he’d made it clear that he wanted to be there.  That bugs me so much.  We’d have made sure that she’d gotten a beautiful white dress and I’d already been thinking about buying her a nice cross.  Instead, it was like a trip to McDonalds.  Just ok.  Well, as I’d told Paladin all along, he needn’t have worried about it.  Savvy is bored out of her freakin’ mind having to sit through the actual sermon and is starting to hate going to church.  It’s unfortunate, but I knew that would happen.  These kids see church as fun time and aren’t getting the message.  I’m betting that happens a lot in the carnival churches.  Instead of Mull cleaning up the mess she’d created, she told Savvy to get Dad to sign her up to go back into the little kids class as a helper.  So there it fell into our laps.  Paladin and I had a talk with Savvy about how she’d made a promise to God and to the pastor and to the other church members that she could handle being a full member of the church and that means attending the sermons.  In short, we had no intention of letting her out of it.  We told her she could sign up, but only after Christmas.  A few minutes later, I came into the living room and Savvy was all, “I don’t want to go to church.”  Nice try missy.  You’re going.  Paladin took them up there, and he signed her up to be a helper after talking to Preacher and the lady over the little kids and telling them about our decision.  I wasn’t happy that he’d signed her up anyhow, but according to Preacher, Savvy would be about the last person they’d let do it because they save that priviledge for teenagers.  We’ll see.  I have to say that if Savvy ends up doing it in the near future, I think that calls for a face-to-face meeting between Preacher, Mull and Paladin.  If Preacher pulls some shady crap, we will find another church.  I suspect that Mull just tells Preacher whatever she wants to get things from the church though.  A face-to-face would give Paladin a chance to set Preacher straight on the situation. 

The second situation was also church centered.  Paladin came home and grabbed me.  He was in a slight panicky looking mood.  He was definitely hyper.  I finally got him to explain what had happened with Savvy (I don’t go to the sermons because there’s a chance Mull will be there and I’d rather not have her show her ass…she would too).  Then he told me that he was shocked that all of a sudden Bell converted.  I was like, “What?”  As in, repeat that.  At the point of the sermon where they ask people who’ve felt the spirit to come forward, Bell went up and knelt before the altar.  A second or two later, Bell came past and I stopped her and said, “I hear that you found the calling.”  I started to say, “I’m happy for you.”  But she stopped me with, “Oh I just felt like going up.  I still feel the same way about religion in general.”  In the past, she wanted to join the church of the flying spaghetti monster if that gives you a clue to her leanings.  That made me want to throw up a little and I was seriously disappointed.  I told her, “You know, if you’ve really felt the spirit, you’re allowed to feel that way.”  But, nope, she was just going up for the hell of it.  Again, with the sick feeling.  That’s just so….WRONG, insulting, and a few other words too.  I told Paladin who felt better that she wasn’t actually converting but at the same time he felt as sick as I did that she had done such a thing.  I’m guessing that Sanjaya2 caught on because they didn’t leave her room all afternoon and when I sent Savvy to get them for dinner, she came back saying that Bell was crying.  Sadly, it’s just what I’ve been fearing all along.  Her only example is Mull and she is following it.  Act how you think people want you to be in order to get what you want from them. 

Therapy was yesterday afternoon and it was good.  Dr. Mark talked with us about the weekend and my lack of trust when it comes to Paladin handling Mull or the kids.  Hmmm…giving in to Mull and signing Savvy up…neither one of those was going to win him more trust from me.  It’s not that I don’t understand his position and I know he feels caught in the middle (my gut wants to yell “then get on my damned side!”…it’s not like I don’t have his or the kids best interest at heart), but I know from experience that I can trust him to give in any time they beg or scream.  That’s just the way it is.  And, I feel minimized by that.  I feel less important to him because of that.  If we have a decision in place or an attitude in place to deal with these situations and he foregoes it, it feels like a slap in the face to me.  It’s something we’re going to be working on for a long time. 

Dr. Mark focused on Paladin for most of the session.  He wants him to stop feeling so out of control in his life and to find a way to deal with retirement.  I brought up the word “depression” but I think Dr. Mark was wondering that too.  I think Paladin has had a low-grade depression going on for months now.  I know it’s coloring his thinking.  He needs to feel useful and there just isn’t enough stuff to keep him busy around here.

The best part of the session?  Paladin looked over at me and said, “I don’t know if you want to bring up the other thing or not.”  I honestly didn’t know what he was talking about.  I thought maybe it was Bell’s church incident.  NOPE.  It was sex.  Poor Dr. Mark.  LOL  I so wish I could film him during these sessions.  His expressions are priceless.  He definitely does not have a poker face!  The minute Paladin brought it up there was this flash across his face and you could so tell that he would have loved to cover his ears and go “lalalalalala”.  Dr. Mark tried to handle it delicately at first, “Is there not enough frequency or too much or…”  I saved him the trouble and put it straight.  We had a conversation the night before about a lack of experimentation in the boudoir.  I seem to have a knack for finding men who aren’t willing to push the limits of what they’re used to.  It’s sex.  It’s supposed to be fun, guys!  I’ve even gone so far as to find a sex map online and point out a few things to Paladin.  But, I’m old fashioned.  I want him to be aggressive and take control of this.  As I put it to Dr. Mark, if I have to pick out my Christmas present, wrap it, and put his name on it, then it’s just not exciting.  Dr. Mark turned to him and said, “She’s saying she wants to hang from the chandeliers.  How about you look a few things up and take her up on it?”  AMEN.