Archive for December, 2007

The best present I may have ever gotten is this little 10 lb. ball of fur curled up between me and the laptop (in an effort to thwart my affection for anything but him, of course).  I realize that a fair amount of his attachment to me has to do with my purchase of Snausages and the only two types of dog food he will currently eat (Pedigree lamb & rice and Alpo ribeye) and probably the fact that I’m the only person on the planet concerned with washing and shaving his butt.  But when I think of 2007, it’s going to be the year we came back to sanity (aka the ghetto trailer) and the year Pascal came to life.  It’s entirely wrong (and I said I would never be the crazy dog lady), but he’s my baby.  He is spoiled absolutely rotten by every person who knows him and I’m pretty sure at some point in the near future my mother’s barely veiled attempts to keep him captive at her house will escalate into all out war!  Where IS the trebuchet when you need it!?!  

That being said, I’m very proud that after nearly a year M. is finally throwing himself into the spirit of Southern country livin’ (we’re not allowed to say living…it’s too cosmopolitan).  However, there’s a special kind of torture in owning a Directv dish once your Yankee husband learns the beauty of being able to flip seamlessly between bull riding and wrestling (which he’s convinced is real…he even thought Vince McMahon had really been blown up…oh how I hate knowing this much about the WWE).  And now thanks to Whopper freakouts, I have to explain to him that McD’s special sauce is Thousand Island dressing.  (It’s best if you don’t ask how this came up.  It involves switching one for the other and is very complicated and mostly confined to his brain stem.)   

M.’s been very cute in a 1950’s sort of way these last few days because I’ve started applying for jobs around here.  This is hard to do since I’m limited to areas within a few miles of his school, and the only thing here is an Army base.  And did I mention that I’m over-qualified for 98% of the jobs here?  Since I actually found maybe 3 that I might be able to force my way into, he’s become very down, and really hates the idea of me going to work.  Strip me of my feminism badge & special tampon pull ring if you must, but I love that.  I’ll gladly pick up another scalloped apron for this guy.  What’s that you say darling?  You’d rather I sit at home and eat bonbons?  Why I’ll do my best to suffer through it.  ::batting my eyelashes, fanning myself and trying not to get the vapors::  Unfortunately, Pascal’s demand for Snausages and the only two edible dog foods in the known world is trumping our dreams of an I Love Lucy/Leave it to Beaver/Father Knows Best existence.   

So here’s hoping 2008 brings prosperity and lots of really cool Snausages for one and all!!!  Wooohooo!


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 I wasn’t going to post today since I feel like crap, but M. is putting his evil plan to kill me slowly using “Forest Gump” in action.  Therefore, I’m lurking around online.  I ran across the idea of doing a Christmas puzzle each year at Blonde Mafia.  That sounds like a great tradition.  I do puzzles with my mom (she’s had several strokes and is disabled) when I think she’s been reading too many Harlequin romance novels (she gets cranky when she’s not occupied).  Mom actually hates puzzles, but, like me, once its out there she just can’t stop until it’s done.  Problem is that the last few times, I get all but about an hour’s work finished and Tina waits for me to go home then finishes it before I get back up there.  I am surrounded by evil people!  Explains a lot, huh… 

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December 26-Sick

Me~~Now I know I’m getting sick.  I just thought “Yay, Star Trek Voyager is on.”

M.~~Why would you think that?

Me~~I dunno.  I guess the theme song is soothing?

M.~~So what is the best Star Trek theme ever?  And don’t say Enterprise!


M.~~::sighs:: Then what’s the silver medal?

Me~~::about to say I don’t remember them::

M.~~And if you don’t remember them I have them all on my ITunes!

Me~~::resolving to never speak to him again…or at least be in dire need of more chai tea first::

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December 28- FIRE!

We’re all sitting outside and the 3 men-folk have about a gallon of a crude oil substance and they’re trying to get some of the 8 foot tall pile of crap we’ve raked and carried to burn.  Tina and I have pulled some lawn chairs up to the other end of the trailer where we’re waiting for the mushroom cloud. (If you’ve never had one in your backyard, they’re awesome!  And my Dad shouldn’t be allowed to bring home airplane fuel…)   

~~Tina starts mumbling about the joy of third degree burns for the holidays, and I nudge her, “Watch this.”   

~~“Hey, M. come get this big tree branch!”  

~~As M. dutifully heads toward said branch, I whisper in awe to Tina, “Look at him.  He’ll walk right into the middle of those briars and get it.” 

~~M. starts moaning and picking at the briars, and Tina and I both look at each other smiling. 

~~“I love ya baby!” I yell at M. like a drunken sailor.  The other men-folk die laughing.  

There’s a lot to be said for Army training.  And anytime I want to wake him up all I have to do is yell Hartman…

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I saw this blog from Domestic Bliss.  It’s so nice when people remember that two is still a family.   The first year M. and I were married he was in Iraq.  We had gotten married in a hurry, and I think most of my family expected me to have a bun in the oven.  When I wasn’t preggers, nobody said anything.  Last year, M. had only been home for a couple of months and practically everyone’s eyes were alight with hopes of a baby in the New Year.  That hope has come and gone.  And this year was really very hard because of Pascal.   See, I have “one of those aunts” that never had children and lavishes all of her love on her dogs.  And in everyone else’s mind, Pascal equals giving up on having kids.  After a year, it’s not happening for us, and since we can’t afford medical intervention, all we can do is try some OTC remedies, keep hitting homers, and hope.  It’s incredibly hard to keep the light and easy “it happens when it happens” attitude when you’re getting all these disappointed looks. Not long after we were married, as M. was getting ready to leave for Iraq, he said something about wishing we already had a family.  I told him that he and I were a family the minute we said “I do.”  I just wish everyone else felt that we’re complete the way we are.  L  

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Morning all!

I don’t know how your day started, but mine started out with shaving Pascal’s butt. Yeah, you’re not that sleep deprived. I really did shave my dog’s butt this morning. “Why would a seemingly intelligent person do that?” you say?  Because my poor lil Pascal had a traumatic experience at his first vet visit.  Our elderly, half-deaf, retired-Army vet is really great; he’s cheap and no nonsense which I love.  However, the first visit test for internal parasites included a probe that was almost as long as Pascal was, and ever since anything that goes near his butt freaks him out.  I don’t want to paint you a mind burp (an unfortunate picture that stays with you for days), but long butt hair plus sticky poo doesn’t mix well where Pas is concerned!  The good news is that I know when its time for a butt shave because its also time to trim his face hair a little bit because you can’t see his eyes anymore.  It’s at this point that he looks like a cheap teddy bear because of his dark brown “button” eyes.   I would take a pic to illustrate this, but my Fuji FinePix A600 camera died recently leaving me to the horror of either my ancient crappy 3MP camera (a free gift with purchase…see pic on the Shallow blog) or my old-fashioned film camera (which isn’t bad, but the film gets expensive and we’re on a tight budget at the moment).  Hopefully, within the next month we will get a nice check (yay!) and I can get a new camera.  I love the pics at Dooce, Fussy, and two straight lines, and I’m going to have to pic their collective brains I think.  But, I have this gnawing idea that they have fancy digital SLR’s and there’s no way I can convince M. that anything more than $150 is necessary to my personal well-being.

On the craft side of things….

I think I may choose Nancy’s Waldorf-style star shaped softie/doll over at Belle Epoque for the first project.   Some of the softies I’ve seen have been really awesome, and I love the subtleties to their faces (especially teddybearbones’ at craftster).  Unfortunately, my sewing machine needs an alignment; so I’ll be better off with the star shape that I can sew by hand.  Unless someone has a better idea…

Hugs, Anna

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Hiho neighborinos!

pascal-snow-effect.jpgI’m Honeywine (aka Anna).  I’ve started this blog to help force me to do some of the wonderful things I love to do such as rant, give advice, make stuff, and share the woes of those I love and those I should.  I’ve written a few blogs on my myspace (also Honeywine), but I’ve been lurking around on some of your blogs and remembering how much I loved being a part of the crafting community.  I feel like I sort of lost my time/moxie/mind when I got married a couple of years ago and life changed BIG TIME!  So I’m hoping to put some of the inspiration you’ve given me to work.  That’s a quiet scream for help, btw.  So I’ve written a blog or two (some of which were frustrated Army life rants) and now I’m going to post some for you.

Hugs, Anna

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