(NOTE: Uncontrollable whining in progress)
4:00am (that’s right 4 stinkin’ am!) and I hear whimpering. I roll over and smack M. assuming its more of his nightly torture. WRONG! A fresh hell had broken through my Benadryl filled slumber (can i just tell you how much of a hard-on i have for benadryl…let’s me sleep but i can still wake up when i need to)!
Pascal who has always slept through the night (or at least kept his trap shut while the black light was on) is scratching wanting out. I lay still hoping beyond hope that he will go back to sleep or that M. will drag his ass out of bed (yes, that was a derisive snort you heard). But, no, the whimpering progresses to a slight yelp (my Pas is such a polite lil fella…I’m sure any other dog would have been barking relentlessly). I crawl out from under my cozy warm blankets and grab the flexi-leash. (and yes i know “true” dog people don’t use them…just you wait…when we have a kid, i’m buying one in pink and one in powder blue and sewing rings on the back of all the onsies!)
Poor Pas had to go AND HOW! He barely got out the front door to his favorite tree before he let fly. And I do mean HE because I’ll be damned if I was going out in the 30 degree cold in my nightgown (it might as well have been 30 below). Then I heard it.
I’m standing next to the front door shivering when I hear a rattle. It’s a very distinctive rattle made by one of Pascal’s favorite homemade toys (i.e.- a 3ltr soda bottle with a cup of barely inside). Problem is I heard the same rattle when I was hooking Pascal up. Two rattles means either I’m paranoid or some creature is loose in the GT. With my eyes like saucers, I start convincing Pas to get his ass in the house NOW! Meanwhile, M. has awakened (i know because i can hear him cracking his knuckles…uugghh) and I yell out frantically to him to come help.
Another rattle sounds! What are the chances that the change in room temperature would cause the bottle to rattle 3 times in a row???? If you’re me at 4am, you’re sure they’re about 20 million to 1! OK, sure, my intense fear of rats & mice contributes to the number hike. But, we live next to a swampy little tributary and I personally have seen swamp rats around here bigger than most Chihuahuas! My brother Will gave one the name of Taco after coming to my rescue when one happened upon me; I heard it as I was running, screaming, flailing my arms!
M. moans and refuses to come help. That’s right! The SOB just refuses to come to the aid of his wife and entrusts me to Pascal’s protection! Truth be told, I was better off with Pas mostly because although he will get scared he’s usually just so curious that he corners whatever he finds and starts batting it around.
Armed with a curious…I mean dangerous…miniature poodle, I started off toward the living room. At this point, I was trying to decide how big the creature would have to be before I dropped the leash and ran screaming. And then I saw it!
Ok so I didn’t see nothin’. Pascal ran right past his bottle to the back hallway (aka his playpen) to his only indoor potty area to finish what he started outside. He didn’t even sniff. If there was anything there it was gone by the time we got there. Is that angels on high I hear? Hallelujah! I cranked up the industrial barn strength ultrasonic pest controller and we headed back to bed.
And the chances that I got any more sleep? You guessed it. Nada. Luckily, I have seen no evidence of anything untoward this morning. So maybe I am just a nutball.
We have a skunk that lives in my backyard. I call him “stinky” and he has gotten into it with my dog so frequently that I have memorized the formula to get the stink out.
Whew! I have had tarantulas (they’re wild here, but rare), armadillos, and pretty much any sort of crazy thing you can think of IN my house! Basically, if it’s crazy or feral it finds me…which explains M.! lol
Wow. I’M JEALOUS. I WANT AN ARMADILLO!
lol Not the sexy billy goat???
I had a simliar experience with a rat and my ex-husband. Did I say and? I meant, who was.