Archive for August 19th, 2008

Die Diet Die


About 3 days into this new diet, I looked at M. and told him, “I may have to eat that newspaper.”  He looked at me rather suspiciously but with a glint of hope in his eyes, and said, “I didn’t say anything because I thought you were so into it.” 


Despite eating mountains of eggs, cheese, and veggies for lunch, M. would be dying of starvation within 2 hours.  Considering that I can’t eat mountains of anything, I was pretty much feeling the same way.  Of course, in my warped mind, this means it was working because our bodies could quickly burn up the fuel.  Right?  Makes sense, right?  So, I still have faith in it, but it’s the timing that’s killing me. 


I didn’t realize how often I ate in a day.  Since I can’t hold much food at any one time, I graze like a lazy cow.  Pick a little here and a little there.  I guess I’ll never be back to my 2 meals a day.  I believe in the principles of the diet, but I had to modify the practice.  Since our admissions, M. has gone back to his usual diet sans the processed meat and with more veggies.  And I am still on the diet, but I’m waiting until about 30 minutes after I’m ravenously hungry to eat again.  That way I’m eating more veggies, in smaller amounts, and I’m eating more often.  I think for the most part I’m just going to have to stay pretty much on the Atkins side and then when I need that carb fix I’ll spend a day on the Somersized carb side (veggies, good carbs, and no fat or meat/cheese)


Ok, so it’s not just the timing.  I also didn’t realize how much eating lots of vegetables would affect me.  If I get the “vapors”, I tend to puke.  Because most of my stomach is floating somewhere at the bottom of my belly and a fair section of my intestines are doing the same, gas seems to have a hard time finding its way out.  It just rolls around like the worst gas a “normie” may ever experience.  Thanks to the abundance of vegetables and fruit on this diet, I spent much of my time trying to lie flat and rubbing my tummy like you would a colicky baby.  Certain veggies bother me less, like carrots and cucumbers, and I’m just going to go with eating half a small cucumber with a little sour cream-based dip for lunch.  Give me an hour and I can probably get the whole thing down.


Oh well, at least I’m exercising!  A couple of weeks ago, I started taking Pascal for longer walks and doing a Ministry of Silly Walks thing while I was at it.  Between goose-stepping, exaggerated marching (knees almost up to my chest like an abdominal workout), walking backwards, and shadow boxing while Pas poops, I’m getting pretty toned under all this flab.  I’ve got a lot more energy…which sucks when you’ve got nothing to do.


The dreaded class dies this week!  Ha!  I’m positively drooling over the survey that we get at the end of each class.  My critique will be fair but tough.  I’ll try not to call the professor a doody head.  I swear!


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