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Archive for September, 2008

Yesterday, I had my lunch with Joe.  I just got home.  Chill!  I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT MAN.  Heck, I didn’t even give Clinton a run for his money. 

 

There were hugs and tears, and a lot of pain.  I’m not even sure where to start because my mind is just filled with so much stuff.  There was a lot of clearing the air (5 hours worth), and we’re trying this new thing called honesty.  Well sort of…he’s trying honesty and I was trying less honesty, but I’ll get to that soon enough.  Obviously, we are both on the rebound, and he’s being very careful.  He’s been deeply hurt by the woman with the inter-racial child, Erica, and he was finally caught in his own honey trap (the same one he’s been laying for everyone else).  He admitted that he lied when he told me he had moved out 3 yrs. ago (when M. “stole” me out from under him…his words…yeah…I didn’t go for that much…last time I checked I’m not property), and that he was really moving back and forth between his wife and another woman, Patricia (LONG story there…I may have to start a Joe page…then I can include Herpes Jen, Horse Jen, and Nurse/Meth-head Jen provided I can even remember enough to keep them all straight); I am soooooo glad I didn’t fall for it then.  True to my word, I looked at his actions and his expressions more than listened to the words.  I watched when he talked about Erica, and there was a “hang dog” look of remorse.  Later, when I spoke about our troubles including when I put an end to “us”, I watched his face repeatedly become a mask of pain.  It was very weird.  He’s very fearful and distant, and that is something I have NEVER experienced from him.  I was shocked and admittedly a bit hurt by it, but I just went with the flow.  And there’s where the fun REALLY started!

 

After an hour at lunch, we were getting the evil eye from the wait staff, and Joe pretty much…hmmm…what’s the word…not begged…or insisted…oh well you get the idea.  He was intent on convincing me to come visit his home.  I agreed because I honestly didn’t want to stop talking, and Joe and I in enclosed spaces are actually way more dangerous than when we can look each other in the eye (everybody can keep their hands to themselves when you’re across from one another).  So we spent 5 hours there talking it all out, and crying and we both were pretty clear that we’re going to be very tentative and feel this out as we go with no eye to the future whatsoever.  There are no promises in place.  We know where each other is, and we’re going to wait and see. 

 

When Joe and I were together, he was married (in case you haven’t read earlier posts…I did not know this until I was deeply in love with him…I’m a horrible person, but I finally broke it off despite the pain to both of us), and I flat out REFUSED to meet his son, Chris.  I was aware (near the end) that Chris had met other adulterers with whom Joe was involved (I don’t kid myself and I will not make infidelity sound pretty…it wasn’t with Joe…it wasn’t when M. cheated on me).  I was absolutely APPALLED, and despite Joe’s persistence I would not go there. 

 

When we got in his truck to go to his place, Joe told me that Chris was there with him (apparently he had expected Chris to be at his mother’s…yeah…I let that go too).  I don’t know if he had planned to try something, but it definitely wasn’t the vibe he was putting off.  Things soon became pretty clear.  Joe stepped out for a minute and the next thing I knew Chris was there and so were Bridgette and John with their two kids (John is Joe’s partner on the police force and his best friend in the world).  After a very few minutes of introductions, I discovered that a cook-out had been planned and I really “must” stay for that.  Gotta say this for the guy…it may take him SIX years to decide he wants you around, but when he does he gets to it.  That was a pretty BIG action, and I noticed it but I’m not laying a lot of stock in it either (others were there before me, so to speak…and I don’t think I’m special in any way because of it).  But, I decided to stay.

 

Things got kinda weird after that though.  Joe was extremely quiet most of the time which is so out of character for him, and although he made a lot of fuss about including me and even calling other people to come and join us, he was definitely in his own world (for once I honestly do not have a clue if he’s confused or disappointed or what…it is utterly out of the realms of my knowledge and I could always read him even if it was something I didn’t want to admit to or know).  However, I managed to bond with Chris and (perhaps unfortunately) Bridgette.  Before the night was out the three of us were having an absolute BALL!  I love quick witted people, and I come from country folk, and Bridgette is REDNECK…and HOW!  I’m talking hunting, fishing, retarded relatives that play the guitar but scream all night thereby interrupting wedding nights…REDNECK.  LOL 

 

Highlights of the night:

 

·        Bridgette getting shot twice after Joe and John had slipped off leaving me with her and Chris (Chris had a new BB gun).

·        Bridgette using the time while Joe and John were gone to find out if I had ever smoked weed or anything else (Erica apparently was a Pill Popper and alcoholic…I hurl at the first sip of alcohol, and I felt no need to mention my love of Lortab).

·        A visit from Officer Chuck who in the same breath talked about the devil, voting for McCain, Masons, and throwing kittens into fans.

·        Bridgette, who is apparently a big ol’ firebug, setting old, arsenic-filled, porch steps aflame…then inhaling.  Did I mention they live in a trailer park with about 10 feet between the trailers where we were sitting and where she began her bonfire?

·        BACHELOR PADS…OMG…DISGUSTING!  Obviously, they had straightened up, but O…M…G!  Camping chairs as fine furnishings and shower grime (that I thought might come to life at any moment) scare the crap outta me!

·        Favorite quote of the night, you ask? “Machete girl was the best of the bunch.” (said in reference to neighbors who a few nights previously had beaten the windows out of another persons car and had to be hauled in by Joe and John)

·        Chris’ kitten, Tina, being chased by Bridgette who was threatening to wrap her in a plastic bag and see if it would melt.

·        The Indian friend of theirs who told us all about his girlfriend catching him in the parking lot with another woman when he was supposed to be in Houston.  Can you say “playa” in Sanskrit? 

·        A 3 hour conversation between Chris and I alone about politics, religion, the local educational system, and yes, even about my relationship with Joe (not TMI though…very general).

·        And another “recap” talk with Joe (who was still very distant) before I left (he was actually worried that Bridgette and Chris might have been mean to me while he was gone…so not the case…it was FUN and absolutely, unequivocally insane).

 

 

Ohhh…I think you get the picture, but I so wish I’d had taken my camera…oh how I wish I had taken my camera.  LOL  The result is that I got a grand total of 2 hours of sleep and I’m still processing everything, but I MUST SLEEP NOW. 

 

I’ll be on later to talk to ya’ll!  🙂

 

P.S.- Oh, yeah, I forgot to explain my dishonesty… Because M. and I were not telling anyone about our separation, I did not see the need to tell anyone about seeing Joe.  But, as I’ve often said, there are no secrets on the hill.  Tina called me in the wee hours of the morning to tell me that Dave had come in last night and told Mom that I went to see Joe (I haven’t been able to find out how Dave knew).  My mother thinks I’m a whore and cheating on my husband.  I cannot deal with that right now though.  The biological need for sleep has taken over. 

 

P.P.S.- Sorry for the incredibly long post.  It’s so hard to decide what to cut when people are trying to melt cats while imitating Cartman from South Park.

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We are officially separated. 

 

He admitted that he probably wouldn’t have married me if he had waited until he came back from Iraq.  I knew that, but I kept waiting for him to admit it these past 2 yrs.  He’s not ready to leave but he’s not ready to stay married.  He’s scared to move on, but the alternative hasn’t been working. 

 

He was hoping I’d go to Joe and it would blow up in my face.  It wasn’t a desire for reprisal as much as a desire for vindication.

 

We don’t hate each other.  M. told me that I’m his best friend, but that he treats his best friends pretty crappy too. 

 

Nothing has been settled really.  So far, we’re going to work the plan, and play it by ear.  There’s a lot of shame here, and we are waiting a few weeks before we tell our families. 

 

He’s sorry.

 

I’m sorry.

 

I don’t know what my future is anymore.

 

I’m still sick.

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What’s wrong with that?  Plenty.  I know what you’re thinking, “Total drama queen isn’t even happy when she’s HAPPY!” 

 

It’s never easy here in the Ghetto Trailer.  Never.  There always seems to be something waiting in the shadows to turn my life to crap.  Want to guess what that something was?  Yeah, it’s not the hardest game to win. 

 

M. knows about my talks with Joe over the past week.  Joe and I have been on the phone about every other day for about an hour.  It’s not like I’ve been absolutely consumed with talking to him, but it’s been nice to talk to someone you know so well.  He can’t hide anything from me and he never could, but the difference now is that he doesn’t want to.  Like I said, M. knows about all this and even knows what we talk about.  Heck, for all I care, he can listen in on the phone. 

 

The problem with all this is that I’ve been happy…very happy.  The smile in my eyes has been alight, and I’m even enjoying being in the house with M. more.  Understandably, one might think this would give a husband some pause.  Maybe I’m dense, but if my wife were suddenly very happy and talking to the ex-love of her life, I’d be concerned and maybe even take some steps to assure her that she’s still my “one”.  M. and I do not think alike apparently.  His reaction?  He asked me if I’d ever heard of a thing called an “open marriage”.  I wasn’t sure whether to throw up or laugh, and I’m still not sure.

 

In my oh-so-unsophisticated and un-French mind, open marriages are the last refuge of those desperate to get out of their marriage, but without the balls to do so.  In the very least, they are a frantic attempt at holding on to someone you think may be leaving you.  Now, I’m just trying to figure out which category M. is in. 

 

Is he even serious?  He sure seems to be.

 

I feel sick.

 

Does this make sense to anyone else???

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How far would you drive for a booty call???

 

Jon, Brian’s brother, has a lady friend visiting.  Not an amazing or unusual occurrence from what I understand.  She seems perfectly normal from what I’ve seen, average and all.  But here’s the rub, she drove a REALLY LONG way for this booty call…like over half a state.  Admittedly, it’s lasted a couple of days, but uh…yeah…  I can’t help but think, “Is this desperate?”  (btw, I totally felt like Carrie Bradshaw right then) 

 

Maybe I’m old-fashioned…ok, I AM old-fashioned, but I’ve never been the caller, only the callee (MS Word says I’m a dumbass, but I’m claiming “callee”).  The furthest I’ve driven for a guy was M. and that was just to town where I was headed anyway.  Of course, I’m used to men driving pretty significant distances for me.  Joe drove about an hour each way.  Richard (pronounced ree-shard…Cajun, ya know) drove for about 3 hours, but in all fairness I was his dream girl…heck I was his porn come to life (mind you, it was shall we say…niche porn)!  But, I’m acquainted with booty call traffic, and I’ve never felt the need to drive in it. 

 

I can’t help but wonder what’s going through the mind of the caller when they drive that far.  Is it, “Now, she has to put out”?  Is this the case for the female callers too?  Sadly, for my men, I was strictly a “third date” girl unless you were iffy and then you were a “fifth date maybe” (I’m very fair and like to give men more than one shot at an impression…not everyone does the first date well or the second for that matter).  Because I dated online A LOT (I live in the boonies people! and I never was a bar person), I’m well aware that many people who date online feel that they “know” the person before they ever get to the door and the simple truth is I’d say most first dates that start out online end up in bed.  Or, at least that’s the line the men gave me, and I also remember Joe telling me I had screwed up his batting average.  It was also something that set me apart besides my fabulousness (I treated every date like it was a night out in Manhattan and not just pizza and a movie on the sofa).  So maybe I’m not completely getting the booty call concept. 

 

Yesterday, Joe told me about getting bored one night and driving to Iowa for a booty call with some woman he met online!  To IOWA…from LOUISIANA.  He called that “getting crazy”.  Uh, ya think, buddy?  That’s got to be pretty high on the desperate scale.  I mean, if I were chatting with some guy in Iowa one night and he showed up on my doorstep the next morning, I’d call the freakin’ cops.  Somebody would be leaving in an ambulance and I’d do my damnedest to make sure it wasn’t me!

 

But maybe that’s just me.  How far would you go for a booty call?  With whom?  Did you go through with it or are you just hoping to?  DISH!

 

 

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Wordless Wednesday

Sure, it’s romantic until someone dies…

 

Two Love Bugs

Two Love Bugs

 

 

Even less romantic when you hit the car.

Even less romantic when you hit the car.

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Trailer Trash!

 

 

What do 2 rednecks and a trailer have to do with blogging?  They are mortal enemies!  Especially when Dave and Will decide to back the trailer over my telephone connection box!  They pretty much put my phone out of commission for almost 2 days, but I’m back.  So let’s play catch up (since for once things were interesting around here)!

 

First, Joe is still talking to me “as a friend”.  DON’T…say it!  I know and Tina has already been saying everything you just said.  I can’t tell if he really needs someone to talk to or if he thinks he smells blood in the water.  What I do know is he’s messing with my beauty sleep.  I just realized that this morning when I woke at 4am yet again.  Joe works a swing shift which is all nights except for about 5 days of dayshift.  Back in the day, I noticed that I was waking up on those days at the same time he got up for work.  In fact, I got so used to it that I’d roll over in bed and moan, “Go to work Joe and stop waking me up” before I went back to sleep (no…he wasn’t in bed with me…he was many, many miles away).  When it hit me this morning that I had been waking up at the same time he was waking up for work, Tina just groaned, “You better be careful with that; ya’ll get way TOO connected.”  Well, DUH!

 

Now that that’s out of the way…

 

Tina had work training on Friday and was told that they had hired a new person to work with her at Brian’s.  So, I’m out of a job (I was working under the table because Tina has been doing 7 days a week for a year now while they looked for someone for the second shift of days).  Or, so I thought.  When I went into work on Saturday and told Brian, he FLIPPED OUT!  Now, Brian and Tina are insisting I apply formally for the job.  So, I am.  I liked it better the other way though because I had no real responsibility.  Now Brian’s going to be a slave driver!  (hence the last minute meatloaf request from the other post)

 

Yesterday afternoon, Tina was just about to get off work when Brian decided he wanted to go to Alexandria.  Tina, Brian, his brother Jon, and I were supposed to do that Sunday, but Brian was too tired.  So, instead of picking Tina up from work, they picked me up.  I’d say we had a pretty good time on our “double date” (don’t you dare say it, Ginger!  they don’t need to know how un-PC I am even if Brian IS down with it!  lol).  Brian only threatened to throw me out of the truck 4 or 5 times.  Of course, one of those was for threatening to buy him some Ron Popeil “Hair in a Can”.  Then Jon chimed in with the idea of donor hair plugs and I suggested we use them to spell words on his skull or make his head the barrel with Donkey Kong jumping over his head.   Then there was talk of some nice Korean real, human hair extensions…Ok, that was me again!  Yeah, we pretty much joked and picked on each other the entire time.  Unfortunately for Brian, with Jon and me, it ended up as 2 against 1 (although I also christened Jon, Man-gina, because he was constantly getting calls from different women while we were out…Tina and I kept talking sexy in the background…he’s gonna have some ‘splainin’ to do!)!  But as I keep reminding Brian, he misses me when I’m gone…because…you know…I am DELIGHTFUL.  Even if I do occasionally suggest that we put strings on his feet and reenact “A Chorus Line.”  😉

 

So who have ya’ll been picking on lately?  Spill!

 

 

 

P.S.- I also got some awesome sunglasses with chrome pin-striping!  So, hot!  And, I totally brained myself getting into the truck.  The hemorrhage is slowly crushing my senses as we speak.  Yep, I hit it that hard!  It’s still hurting today!  Oh, and in case you haven’t noticed, because M.’s home, I’m back to being an afternoon blogger.  😦  I’m catching up with ya’ll though!

 

Icon brand from Burlington Coat Factory

Icon brand from Burlington Coat Factory

 

 

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It’s Gritty!

I’ve been going on about this one since I saw it.  It’s a must watch.   And, since I got stuck at work making meatloaf (that’ll teach me to finish my work early), I have YouTube at my bidding!  YAYYYYY!  *Elmo dance*

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