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Archive for September 27th, 2008

 

We are officially separated. 

 

He admitted that he probably wouldn’t have married me if he had waited until he came back from Iraq.  I knew that, but I kept waiting for him to admit it these past 2 yrs.  He’s not ready to leave but he’s not ready to stay married.  He’s scared to move on, but the alternative hasn’t been working. 

 

He was hoping I’d go to Joe and it would blow up in my face.  It wasn’t a desire for reprisal as much as a desire for vindication.

 

We don’t hate each other.  M. told me that I’m his best friend, but that he treats his best friends pretty crappy too. 

 

Nothing has been settled really.  So far, we’re going to work the plan, and play it by ear.  There’s a lot of shame here, and we are waiting a few weeks before we tell our families. 

 

He’s sorry.

 

I’m sorry.

 

I don’t know what my future is anymore.

 

I’m still sick.

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