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Archive for January 8th, 2009

The MAN Post

*EXTRA EXTRA LONG, sorry, but it does hold a month of happenings*

Ok, so you’ve been waiting and wishing and wondering…well…at least you’ve been semi-speculating…on my man status. I have met someone who is incredibly NICE (nice is entirely underrated, I find…hot, hung, and lots of other “h” words are completely overrated when searching for someone you can trust to give your heart to). But, actually, “nice” doesn’t even begin to cover it. He is wonderful and special and oh so many other things. But, I’ll begin at the beginning.

Well over a month ago, Paladin (I’ll get to the name explanation) responded to a spam email I sent out on Plentyoffish.com (or POF…I signed up on it during a spat with Gig and while in a pissy mood I spammed a few local men). Paladin was moving from one barracks into another one across Ft. Polk, and emailed me that he’d get on Yahoo IM as soon as possible. We all know I was seeing quite a lot of fellas there for a while and I kind of forgot about him until I peeked at my POF email and noticed him again. I sent a reply email that it would be fine for us to talk via email or phone since he was moving. As it turned out, I guess he had forgotten about me too since within a day he had Yahoo IM up and running. We began chatting online and it went very well (his IM writing style is very formal so I knew he wasn’t a pro and that’s a good sign). So we moved to the phone, and it was great.

Paladin is 2 yrs. older than me which means that we have the same frame of reference for many things. He can talk about science and politics intelligently even if we don’t always agree, and we both love a lively debate especially when you both know when to agree-to-disagree. If anything he actually taxes my brain a little too much. I likes my silly, but hey that’s what Ginger is for! 🙂 As I said, he was pretty formal, and being an Army MP (military police) for 18yrs. adds to that in a pretty significant way. In our first few days of talking, we chatted mostly about politics and where we grew up and about his kids and about his brain tumor and the subsequent break-up of his marriage (don’t worry, I’ll get back to that too). We got along nicely, and when I heard that his kids wouldn’t have a Christmas tree at his barracks, I immediately offered up my little extra tree. We planned a date for that Sunday during which I’d bring the tree over and we’d spend most of the day together.

The day before our scheduled date, Brian decided he wanted KFC for dinner and since that’s right off base and I was on IM with Paladin, I asked if he’d like some chicken. He laughed and said that he was just about to suggest the same thing. I grabbed my things and high-tailed it out there. I pulled up to his barracks and waited for him to come out. Thank god that I had waited for him to come to me because he had NOT prepared me. When we had talked about his brain surgery, he had mentioned some paralysis on one side of his face, but he hadn’t mentioned that in doing the surgery the doctors had inadvertently lowered the left-side of his face significantly. I was taken aback to say the least, but I recovered quickly and we had a great date even though it had to be shortened so I could get back to work (now, I realize that although his disfigurement is noticeable, it’s not nearly as bad as it seemed at the time and that I was just shocked since he hadn’t mentioned it at all). On the way home, I realized that he’d probably spend all night wondering if I’d stand him up for our Sunday date, and I immediately picked up the phone and told him how much I’d enjoyed talking to him and that I’d see him Sunday.

Sunday was a lovely day. We decorated the Christmas tree together, and he told me that he hadn’t decorated one since he’d been a child because his ex, alias Mull, always did the tree with the kids while he was at work. He really enjoyed doing it and my already forming opinion of his ex was lowered even more.

Frankly, it’s nearly impossible to think very much of Mull. Paladin married Mull in Germany after discovering that she was pregnant with his child. When they met, she had two children from another relationship who adored Paladin, and she had been in a relationship with another U.S. soldier whom had recently died (it turned out that this was a friend of Paladin’s) and the soldier’s death had taken a toll on her (true it didn’t stop her from trolling for a new guy online…which is how they met…but hey, grief affects everyone differently *eyeroll commences*). Paladin, being the paladin that he is, immediately stepped up to the plate because in his words, “I always loved kids and there’s no way I could have left my child half a world away; besides her kids liked me and their dad was out of the picture; they needed me.” Like most marriages, it trudged along semi-happily: the sex was bad, he did all the cooking and a fair amount of the cleaning, but their lives focused in on the kids. Paladin’s first biological daughter was followed by a second (he adopted Mull’s first 2 children in Germany…he still bristles when he talks about getting their father to sign the papers because all the man was interested in was not having to pay child support anymore). Then came the first bought with his benign brain tumor. Faced with the very real possibility that he might not live, Mull left him and took up with a 20-something buck Private. Real pretty. As Paladin healed, he was hit with the news that Mull was now pregnant with the Private’s child. In some sort of tumor induced insanity, Paladin allowed the Private to live in the same house as him and his family (don’t even get me started…because this post would be considerably longer). Right before the birth, the Private got himself kicked out of the Army and took off. Paladin stepped up and took the role of daddy for this next daughter because he knew her own father never would, and because he thought that with the tumor behind him that he and Mull would be alright. Then it came back, and this time it was worse than before. He almost didn’t make it. And, this time when Mull cut and ran she not only left him, but took the kids to a crappy little house just a half mile from the nice 2000sq.ft. home that the Paladin was paying for already (he was forced into barracks by his commander because he was unable to drive during this time). She basically wanted the hell out, but I guess only half a mile out. He has spent the last nine months seeing his children (who he lives and breathes for) twice a month if he’s lucky, and not knowing if he’d live or die. Yeah, you wouldn’t think my opinion of Mull could get much lower, but…oh yeah, did I mention that she’s pregnant again? Yep, she’s 6 months along with what she terms a “mistake” by “someone who isn’t around”, but don’t worry she’s dating online STILL, THIS VERY MINUTE. So, I’m sure she’ll find that quality man any second now. In fact, Saturday she’s off to Houston and is returning with a laptop. Hmmm…I wonder how she’ll get it?

Back to me. So, on our first official Sunday date (it started at 10 am and ended about 10pm), Paladin and I decorated the Christmas tree, had lunch, did some shopping, and we drove out to his house. It has big rooms and is laid out ok and it’s on 2 acres. It has tons of potential (I’ll try to run by and get some pics soon). By then end of the date we were watching some science show on tv and talking about the house, Paladin cleared his throat and timidly said something about needing someone to help him pick out some new furniture. I smiled and nodded knowing what he was getting at. Then we made out. 🙂

Because of the recent holidays, Paladin and I haven’t gone more than 24 hours without seeing each other. He’s spent the weekend at my home and met Mom and Tina and even Dave for all of 2 seconds. He literally had Pascal eating out of his hand after a day which is HUGE where Pas is concerned. I made Christmas dinner for him and the kids and got to meet them for a few minutes before Mull picked them up. He’s gone to several Girl’s Nights and met all the gang including one held on New Year’s Eve (he fell asleep about 10, but I made sure he didn’t miss the ball drop); they’ve let him see a little of my “parenting” style which is “ok” in his book but since his tumor he’s anti-corporal punishment and overcompensating a great deal.

We’re getting along beautifully in all areas (though the sex is a little too “paladin” for me…I likes my kinky but I’ll wear him down heh heh). He’s really loosened up so much in these past few weeks. I’m getting to see his “free” side. For example, the other day we went out to the house to set off bug foggers before we get to cleaning in the coming weeks; I was in the kitchen preparing some things when he came up beside me and merrily said, “Meet Mom!” I turned and there was a box in my face; it took me a second to remember that his mother was cremated. He definitely has his fun-ish side. He’s also a Dungeon Master, as in Dungeons and Dragons (get your mind outta the gutter Ginger), and I cannot tell you how excited I was when he told me that. Sadly, I’m not being sarcastic. Lol I always wanted to get in on an old-fashioned pen & paper roleplaying game, but there weren’t any around here. The other night we were looking at all his D&D stuff, and we started taking these online quizzes to determine our alignment. He constantly came up as “lawful good” (what else would a paladin be?) which he felt didn’t show his free-thinker nature. I just laughed because that’s what he is. He is lawful good down to his bones; he’s a goody-two-shoes down to the soles of his feet. He is in short a good, good man. And, I will be forever grateful for Mull’s stupidity (don’t worry…I’ve got more posts concerning her already…and this weekend is the first entire day he and I will spend together with the kids…so you know there’s more to come and I haven’t even hit upon the prospect of my having children with him…that’s another post entirely).

The other day, he was finally cleared to start driving again, and we went to get his car started and take it into Walmart for servicing. I was in the craft department hunting for knitting yarn, and when I went back to the Tire & Lube, he was busy at the counter. I didn’t think anything of it, and started looking at the nearby toys. Paladin came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. Then, kissing my cheek, he slipped two sets of keys into my hand: one for “our” house and for the car. Even before this, he had been talking about my need to file my divorce, and there’s no doubt that hopefully by the end of this month the papers will be filed. M. is soon to be gone. But, I’ve taken up enough of your time, and there will be more posts on that to come as well!

*hugs to all* I am so happy to be blogging again!!!

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