Archive for March 27th, 2009

I should never EVER say I’ll get back online.  The last 24 hours has been much like an episode of 24. 


Within a few minutes of posting, Tina messed up a tire on the beloved Breeze.  In an attempt to get it fixed, Paladin and I got up and drove the 65 miles to Mom’s then went back to town with the tire (another 35 miles) and then reversed the process.  It was just 200+ miles, not including a stop on base to get a Dept. of Defense sticker for the van.  But that wasn’t the end of it…nooooo… 


Paladin has been in pain a lot during the last few days which isn’t unusual because his past brain surgeries have left him with constant low-grade pain.  This pain was extreme though and he was afraid that the valve in his brain wasn’t pumping correctly.  I said he probably had allergies and it was causing a build-up of fluid in his sinuses.  He ignored me.  But, he also hates to go to doctors and I eventually convinced him to try the sinus decongestants.  He felt much better after that.  Unfortunately, he also bugged me the whole day.  First, he bugged me because in the space of 5 minutes I hit the van and the fence backing out of the garage.  In my defense, he parked the van so that I had all of 6 inches of space TOTAL to get around the van, fence, and a small tree.  Hey, I MISSED THE TREE!  Then he bugged me because the car horn began going off every time I turned the wheel and obviously, I’d f**ked it up.  I did.  I know I did, and I took full responsibility.  He wasn’t mad or anything.  He just saw a comedic opening and took it.  Tina kept laughing at his jokes which just egged him on, of course. 


Then something horrible happened.  Pascal inadvertently got caught in a spot.  I won’t go into how he got there because its no one’s fault (no I didn’t do it).  When I found him, he was soaking wet with saliva and his tongue was lolled out and he was barely responding to me.  I have only experienced terror like that once before in my life when Will was a baby and had a high fever which sent him into a seizure.  I got a bottle of water down Pascal and dunked him in cool water too.  About 20 minutes later, he started responding better, and after a couple of hours, he was back to normal.  I’m trying not to cry just writing about it.  If I hadn’t found him when I did, I don’t think he’d have made it.  I’m so grateful to the powers that be that I shaved him down to his summer coat the night before.  If I hadn’t, I think I’d be burying my dog today, and I’m not sure I could recover from that.  He’s my baby.  But, at the same time, I couldn’t baby him the rest of the day because I didn’t want him to get all phobic.  Yes, I know, crazy ass dog lady.  I did the same thing when he was little and jumped off the sofa and hurt himself.  I learned that if I baby him for too long after an injury he goes completely “man” about it (i.e.- I’m dyyyyying…can’t you telllll…).  But I was seriously terrified, sick-to-my-stomach terrified.


Paladin then spent the rest of the day in full-on ORAL mode (Old Retired Army Lolligagger, that is).  The van needs a new fuel filter which Paladin was shocked to learn is actually inside the fuel tank.  Apparently, the last time Paladin did any mechanic work was before he got in the Army, but he fully expected cars to still work the same.  Ummm…no.  Now, everything is pretty much set up so that you MUST take it to a mechanic.  Commence with the cussing.  I have to giggle every single time.  Unfortunately, I also get that Claire Huxtible “oh god don’t let him know this appliance isn’t working” feeling, and for good reason.  The first time we had an appliance get messed up the dryer wasn’t working right.  I’m pretty sure the cord just wasn’t attached properly.  Two hours of cussing later…there were sparks flying out the back and the motor was toast.  I’m a little leary of him working on things like that now, and like an idiot, I have yet to learn that when he’s telling me about the problem I’m supposed to agree with whatever he says instead of my patented “I don’t know jack about this stuff; call Dave and Will” response.  Once he decided it was the fuel filter, I told him that I’d been through this already with the car and that it’s a delicate process and you should really get it done by a mechanic that is VERY trustworthy or at the dealer (on a trip to Georgia a few years ago, we had to keep our windows down the whole ride home because the Midas place that had changed the Breeze’s fuel filter hadn’t seated it properly and it leaked fumes into the car…who knows how many brain cells we lost before we realized it…they also WAY overcharged us, but, at the time, we were in a hurry to get to Fort Benning).  Silly me.  For some reason, Paladin loves the local Pennzoil place and I’m fine with that, but I’m pretty sure they don’t do this stuff.  I guess I’ll find out in a few minutes.  Anyhow, this caused him to think he’d pissed me off later that evening when I was grumbling over the damned German cookies he bought (uhh…it ain’t a cookie!  it’s a Ritz cracker with not-very-sweet frosting in the middle…and why does every German food open like a pack of cigarettes?).  The darned things spewed crumbs EVERYWHERE the second I opened them and I spent half an hour picking them up and vacuuming.  I told him never to buy them again.  If a grown woman can’t keep them from ending up everywhere, what chance do children have?  Of course, he wasn’t convinced that I wasn’t pissed.  So I took him to bed and made my point.  😉  lol  And that freakin’ Sesame Street song played in my head the entire time…aaarrrggghhhh….


I hate to say it, but I’ve got to go.  I’ll see ya’ll next week fo sho!  But, I’m screwed right now.  I lost a day’s work to all that and I have to get the house cleaned before the kids get here later.  😦  Byes!


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