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Mother’s Day is almost here, and I’m so glad I didn’t notice that until 2 days ago.  For one thing, it leaves me no time to lament my childlessness (though we’ll see how I feel come Sunday).  For another thing, if I had remembered earlier, Paladin and I would have probably made sure that the kids picked out something for Mull.  Perhaps we should have picked her up a Mother of the Year banner?  Nah.  I doubt she’d have gotten the joke.  On the other hand, it meant picking out something for my Mom, Paladin’s first step-mother JoDee, and his second & current step-mother Susan at the last minute.  Out of the blue, I thought, ‘How about those digital picture keychain things?’  So we logged onto Walmart’s site only to discover that they were running out of them FAST and that they’d probably take forever to get to the store.  Since we wanted to load pics of the kids on them, we needed them in our hands first.  So we headed over to Big Lots with Tina the other night and found a few for $12.  SCORE!  That was a bit cheaper than Walmart and we could load them and they’d probably only get them a few days late.  I have to say that these are really good quality and the software is easy to use and they can be charged on my Motorolla phone charger (I wish I’d wrangled one for myself!).  They’re Pandigital’s Model PAN1802A and the screen is a tiny bit bigger than the others we saw, but they do only hold about 40 photos.  Still, I was impressed by the quality (the crappiness of the pic above is all my own doing), the ease of use, the automatic shut-off to save battery power, and the fact that it comes with both the keychain and a picture frame set-up.  The downside is that there’s no slideshow feature.  Now, they can put them on their desks at work and torture others with the cuteness of the children and the hotness of myself.  heh  So if any of you are stuck for something, I’d recommend it.

Of course, this isn’t at all what I got online to write about.  I’m extremely torn between guilt and happiness.

As I mentioned last time, we’ve had some dog trouble.  The second Mull found out that Paladin was moving back into the house she decided he should take the 2 medium sized dogs that they’d had for years.  I don’t blame her for that.  They had kept them as inside dogs and do they ever SHED!  It took 3 weeks to get the hair out of this house when we took them to Mom’s but I’ll get to that later.  What I would like to strangle her for is giving Paladin a hard time about making them outside dogs.  No self-respecting Southerner would ever have let these dogs into their home.  It doesn’t get cold enough here to bother most dogs and we’d have just fixed up a spot in the garage or outbuilding that would be nice and warm for them.  Not this bunch.  Paladin is as much at fault for it as Mull because he’s a huge animal lover and just feels guilty any time he treats them as less than mini-humans.  So, when he got Sally and Sam back from Mull, he was happy as a clam, but he was still in the Army and had to leave them outside during the day.  Mull immediately threw a fit over it and had the children calling him up crying and begging him not to let their dogs freeze to death (it’s wrong of me…I know it’s evil…but I really wish Mull would run into the wrong guy sometimes).  Emotional blackmail is Mull’s stock and trade (unfortunately, I’m seeing the children are learning how to use it too…especially Bell).  They got over it.

A few weeks ago, I convinced Paladin that it was best to take Sally and Sam to my Mom’s house until we fixed some holes in the fence.  We had been leaving them here alone for those 3 days I work with plenty of food and water and they were comfortable, but it was always a mess to clean up when we got back.  It just was a bad idea to leave them here.  They needed to be outside with people taking care of them.  So, we left them in Dave’s hands.  No problem…at first.  Then they got loose one day while Dave and Will were here working on the renovation.  The Brothers got home and searched high and low for them at all the neighbors, but there wasn’t a trace.  Did I mention that these are 2 of the stupidest dogs I’ve ever seen?  They are definitely in the top 3 (with the top spot going to Dave’s dog which was an absolute slobbering idiot whose only reason rotated around getting his rocks off).  They don’t answer when called or anything that most dogs learn to do even through osmosis.  I can’t entirely blame the dogs because Paladin and Mull didn’t teach them anything, but that said, these dogs still don’t follow normal dog instincts very much.  In the country, if your dog runs off, within a day or two they show up for food either at your house or at one of the neighbors.  Not these dogs.  We searched for days.  Eventually, the preacher down the road said that he’d fed them (they had leads attached and why he didn’t catch them and call the neighbors I don’t know…it’s common courtesy where we live!…he could have at least called animal control because they knew we were looking for the dogs too).  That was the only sighting in 4 days.

After almost a week of sleepless nights and daily walks screaming their names, Paladin and I were talking in bed and he was convinced that they had gotten tangled up in the swamp brush and died.

My guilt-o-meter was on high.  I’ve wanted those dogs out of this house since they got here.  Like I said, they SHED bucket loads and are too big to be inside in my opinion.  I know other people have dogs like that inside, Lola, but I just can’t do it.  It’s unsanitary.  They can reach my kitchen countertops! And Sam’s the worst for it.  No matter what I did, there was just tons of crinkly black hair everywhere.  It looked like an Eastern Block prison matron’s pube was going bald all over my floors!!!

So with a little guilt and a tiny, tiny little bit of schadenfreude, I convinced Paladin to go with Dave and take a look one last time.  In an absolute miracle, they found them!  They weren’t 10 feet from the end of the dirt road where we had been walking and screaming for them for a week.  We’d slowly driven past the spot where they were found searching for them twice a day the entire time.  My guess is that they were there for about a day with us calling for them and walking within 10 feet of them.  They were thirsty but not really dehydrated when we found them and that’s one reason that I think they weren’t there for long.  However, Sam’s leg had been caught tight in his lead.  He was putting pressure on it, and it wasn’t swollen much.  So, we waited a day before we took him to the vet.  The vet gave us a 50% survival rate for the leg.  In the end, we decided it would be safer and probably even more humane to amputate.  It’s horrible.  We HATED doing it.  But, it was what was best for Sam.

During the week that the dogs were missing, the children were visiting and telling us that “Mom says you put Sally and Sam in the pound and killed them.”  Yeah, I wish Mull’d meet one of those lovely violent men that would beat her ass at least ONCE!  I’m not saying it should be permanent or that anything should scar anyone for life.  But to paraphrase Chris Rock, “I won’t hit a woman, but I will shake a b***h!”  She needs shaken.  Shaken Baby Syndrome, shaken!  We reminded the kids that this wasn’t true.  But they were missing and we were preparing to have to lie to them about the dogs whereabouts until after the divorce.  Then just a couple of days later we found the dogs.  Now, we just have to explain why Sam has 3 legs.  I voted that we convince them he always had 3 legs, but Paladin says they won’t buy it.

I am genuinely happy that Sam and Sally are back and safe.  It breaks my heart to see Sam’s bald stump, but his only problem so far has been trying to figure out how why he can’t lift his leg to pee.  It’s not in my nature or my family’s nature to get all down when something bad happens.  Hence, Dave’s comment, “All he has to do is lose an eye now, and we can rename him Lucky!”  (Dave felt so bad when those dogs went missing on his watch that I thought he might cry for a minute…Sam was his favorite too)  Paladin doesn’t get the humor as much.  He worries mostly, but I remind him constantly that dogs are like kids and if you treat things as ‘no big deal’ they usually do too.  Sam is still the big happy dumb lummox he always was.  I wish I’d had video of us taking him outside earlier.  He slammed his cone into everything he came near.  He keeps it up and he’s going to need an MRI!  But I did take pics though they aren’t for the faint of heart (or stomach!):

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And to prove that I still love you.  Adorable pics of Indy carrying this doll I made many moons ago.  She picked it up and started putting it to bed and carrying it around the house all on her own.  I fell just gazillions deeper in love with that child when she carried her Wubby and put it to bed.  Bitter sweet moment, I tell ya.

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I love her shoes!  We picked them up at Walmart on clearance because Mull only sent her in orange sandals and it was raining hard.  They have every shade of pink and a smattering of green, orange, blue, and yellow which means that they make her outfits MATCH!  Believe me, Mull has sent her in things that match a grand total of twice in 6 months.  It drives me freakin’ nuts.  The pants and top she’s wearing don’t match each other but the shoes make them work!  Yay!  Now, if Mull will just let her wear them.  I’m hoping that since she wore them home, Mull won’t notice that we bought them.  If Mull notices that they’re new, it will be like Savvy & Blondie’s new underwear; Blondie finally showed up with 2 pair of them this visit after they’ve had them for a MONTH.  Their condition?  Brand new and still rolled and taped the way they come out of the package.  Still no sightings of anything else we’ve bought them except for the shoes we let them wear home.  I could understand it if she went out and bought them underwear instead of letting them wear ours, but why deprive them if there’s new non-stained underwear just sitting there?  I still say she needs a little SBS (Shaken B***h Syndrome)!

Oh well, I better go fix the water pipes…again…  Hopefully, I’ll be able to get back on soon and see ya’ll!  Byes!

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How many times can you put the words “weekend update” into a post title?  Eh…

First, I want to say “Howdy ya’ll!”  🙂  I miss getting online.  😦  And some quick comments on the past 2 posts:  I’m happy to report that Pascal is as perky as ever, but I’m keeping an even better eye on him which disturbs most of the people around here since I’m already a crazy dog lady.  Kat, what’s wrong with having sex while Big Bird bounces around in your head?  lol I can’t even blame it on the kids because they don’t watch Sesame Street.  And, Ron, I quite like that moniker “MacGyver of decorating” if I start a new blog that shall be the title!  🙂

 

So what have I been up to?  No.  Really.  I can’t remember it all.  It’s a big blur. 

 

But there are a few standouts like meeting Sanjaya!!!!  Ok, so it was really Bell’s new guy/friend (why can’t kids these days even commit to a title for their significant other?  oh yeah…it’s not just the kids…why can’t we bring back “going steady”?).  I love this boy…despite his Flock of Seagulls hairdo.  Paladin had paying jobs for the teenagers this weekend and Martian did some leaf raking while Bell and Sanjaya2 cleaned the van.  That sweet boy wouldn’t take the money.  Now, we’re going to have to wait until he isn’t looking to slip it into his pocket!  And, Sanjaya2 would NOT let me do the dishes if he was in the house.  I wish to trade any one of Paladin’s kids for him.  Well, except Indy.  She’s mine.  I’m claiming her! 

 

Speaking of being claimed, Savvy came off with quite a few gems this weekend.  I was in the kitchen making dinner Friday when she came in to tell me all about God.  In her book, he’s something like the Easter bunny, Santa, and mummies all combined.  Sadly, she whispered to me “But don’t tell Dad or he’ll get mad.”  I set her straight immediately.  Yes, Paladin HATES that she’s become completely entranced by Jesus, but, as I’ve told him, the best thing you can do is try to give her a balance of beliefs not just yours or mine or her mother’s church’s (Mull isn’t a true believer of any sort but I’ll get to that in a minute) or any other single viewpoint.  Over time, we all must choose for ourselves and it’s likely that her beliefs will change as she ages.  After I explained to her that it was ok to talk to Dad about God, she sat on the sofa telling him all about it.  Later, she drew him a picture of the two of them holding hands with “I heart Jesus” and “I heart God” and “I heart Dad” in the clouds above them.  How sweet is that?  She has been really sweet these last two weekends now that she understands the boundaries and that time-out will be enforced (Indy got 2 this weekend…in fact, she was the only kid that got one…of course, they consisted of me sitting her on her bed and telling her to say “sorry” and she could go back and play…it seriously cut down on her crying jags).  I’m glad I took your advice and let Paladin have his way.  Although, hand-to-ass is a lot quicker, and as I told my little Borrowed Girls (the youngest 3: Savvy, Blondie, and Indy) Sunday when I took them to Walmart, it’s not off the table.  Savvy didn’t need it, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t drive me nuts. 

 

Friday night, Savvy did not sleep the entire night; hence, neither did I.  About 1:30am she came in our room.  Then, she came in again at 2:45am, and by 4am, I gave up and got up with her (Paladin took her back to bed the first 2 times, but if I get a couple of hours of sleep and someone wakes me, I’m up for hours).  Sitting in a cold office chair while you make an 8yr. old keep their head on the pillow until they pass out at 5:30am isn’t as fun as it sounds.  At 7am, she came in and woke us up for the morning (did I mention that Mull filled her full of candy before she dropped them off? this makes twice she’s done that…one of these days I’m going to send them home with a bag of candy as big as their heads!).  I got a grand total of 3 hours of sleep and by Saturday night, I wasn’t having any of it.  I made Blondie and Savvy keep their heads down “or else” while I read their bedtime story (here’s a note: today’s kids don’t seem to enjoy Hans Christian Anderson unless he’s dumbed down for them…I loved the originals as a kid…it’s sad), and a semi-decent night’s sleep was had by the adults.  Well, it would have been except for a conversation with Savvy as we were kissing them goodnight.  I was extremely stern while reading to them (I wanted it clear that we were sleeping tonight!), and as I was kissing Savvy goodnight I said to her happily, “Goodnight my darling!”  She looked really confused for a second and then said to me, “Why did you call me ‘your darling’?”  I said the same thing as I kissed Blondie, btw.  But I told her, “Because you are my darlings; just like Dad is my darling.”  Savvy replied, “Is it because this summer I get to come and live with you and be your daughter?”  My heart broke a little when she said that.  I have been there when kids tell their mother that they want to live with Dad, and it’s horrific.  Savvy had obviously said something like that to Mull because Friday night Savvy and Blondie were telling me that “Mom says if you live with Dad you have to take all your stuff and you can’t ever come back.”  I knew Bell was in the kitchen listening and I told Savvy that she wouldn’t be my daughter until Dad and I were married and that was a long time from now.  Savvy seemed satisfied with that and went to sleep.  Paladin was less satisfied, however.

 

We spent at least 2 hours talking Saturday night after the kids were in bed.  Paladin asked me how I felt having Savvy say that she wanted to be my daughter.  Is “abject fear” the right answer?  Out of the many revelations that spew from Savvy and occasionally Blondie’s mouths in any given weekend, there are usually a couple about Mull.  I won’t lie.  I fish these kids sometimes.  But, I usually don’t have to.  Friday, they told me that Miss Churchlady would pick them up because “Mom has to take Jeremy back to school in Texas.”  They also told me that “Jeremy is going to be staying weekends with us now” and “Justin and Mom go to his friends house.”  Now let me get this straight for you the reader:  ONE WEEK and ONE DAY after giving BIRTH, Mull is seeing 2 men…one for during the week and one for the weekends!  Not to mention that the weekender is aparently in college and doesn’t drive!  Mull is 35!  Remember me saying I’d give it 6 months until she was knocked up again?  I’d like to lower that to 3…way better odds.  I was under the stupid impression that the whooha needs a little time to get back into place after giving birth.  Much of our adult time Saturday night was spent talking about just how many chances Mull is going to get before we take the kids from her.  It’s not just that she’s a total whore.  Hey, she is for all intents and purposes free and single (emphasis on the free).  She has from what I understand been a “passable” mother as in she didn’t let them die and made sure that someone cooked for them (not her mind you…it used to be Paladin and now Martian has to do it all) and paid them some attention.  I don’t know how much of that is true these days.  I’ve been in the “men coming out my ears” stage and it’s not that easy to keep up with everything.  The kids are obviously where things are sliding.  I didn’t even open it up for discussion when I found out about Miss Churchlady.  I told Paladin flat out that was NOT HAPPENING.  If Mull can’t get off her back and pick the kids up, we can get them to school.  He informed her of this and guess who managed to make it back from Texas in time to pick up her kids?  Uh huh…  As I said before, Mull is not a true believer.  The church has become her way of getting others to do her bidding.  And one of the reasons Savvy has become obsessed with church is because that’s where she’s getting ‘good attention’ instead of just being told what to do and to stay out of the way; it’s obvious that the only place these kids are getting attention is when they are at church or with us.  I’m hoping that Paladin will ease up his objections toward church over time because of this.  He did meet the Youth Pastor this weekend (Bell and Sanjaya2 were picked up by the pastor for church and youth group on Sunday which meant we got up at 7am again…grrr…) and I’ve been adamant about him being helpful toward the church.  He doesn’t have anything against this church but he’s worried about impressionable Savvy.  Frankly, I want these church members to understand that we are not Mull’s enemies (which from experience we know is the impression she’s giving them…the kids have said many times that “mom is poor because dad is rich”…ummm…we’re doing ok, but we still have to watch things…Mull CHOSE this…and if she thinks she’s poor now, wait until that extra $600 stops coming after the court hearing).  I had to set Martian and Bell straight about Miss Churchlady picking them up.  It is NOT HAPPENING EVER.  I framed it in a “it’s not a good idea from a legal standpoint because of chain of custody” way but I also made sure that they knew what we had told Mull:  It’s NEVER a problem for us to have extra time with them and we are happy to keep them ANYTIME and we can get them to school too.  I also made sure they understood that we don’t have anything in the world against Miss Churchlady.  I’m sure she’s a lovely person and I truly mean that.  I know that both she and the rest of the church mean well.  But, seriously, how long do you go on helping a whore be a whore?  Even in the interest of the kids? 

 

As part of my “take care of the kids and suck up to the church at the same time” campaign, Friday before the kids got there Paladin and I went around town and picked up some Easter presents for the kids.  He usually gets them candy and a card for holidays, but I begged to get them Easter dresses.  As I told him, it’s one of the few perks that I get as the NQM (or not-quite-mommy).  He reluctantly agreed.  These kids have been wearing the same 3 outfits since I met them in December and Blondie has been wearing some boy’s clothes that were given to Mull.  So, whatever she spent her adoption windfall on (other than a new Playstation controller which was “a gift from the baby” according to Blondie), it wasn’t on the kids.  And, I really can’t stand that they don’t have decent dresses to wear to church and I don’t care one bit that it makes me an old fudy dudy.  So, I picked out 3 pretty pink frocks for my Borrowed Girls and got Martian a couple of cool new t-shirts.  Then came Bell, our goth princess.  How do you pick out an Easter dress for a Goth?  The store made it easy.  There were 2 possible choices to fit “miss tiny ass who eats everything and gains nothing”:  a tiger print tiered ruffled mini-skirt and a spaghetti strapped, empire waisted, sequined silver dress.  We got both, and decided that if she hated the silver, we’d give her the tiger skirt.  But, she loved it!  YAY!  I may not know teens but I do know a little something about fashion!  Fortunately, I knew the little one’s dress sizes and I guessed at Bell’s (a Junior’s Small…I think that’s about a 3?), but I didn’t know their shoe sizes.  So I took my Borrowed Girls to Walmart all by myself on Sunday morning.  We got dress shoes, new underwear and socks (the 2 older girls have had the same 3 pair of undies between them since December…they were stained and had holes starting and they fit them too tightly) and new tennis shoes for Blondie and Savvy (I washed their filthy old ones the night before and Blondie had an “issue” with the insole coming out of her old ones).  Indy got new dress shoes and big girl panties with Cinderella (she pouted a little because she wanted the Dora but they were out in her size…I wasn’t going up a size…I’m sick of this kid’s clothes falling off her!).  And, they were good as gold.  🙂  Bell doesn’t know it but she has shoes too; we’re saving them and her mini-skirt for her birthday present. 

 

Yeah, there are perks to being the NQM.  I get to be ground zero for the insanity, but I’m well liked by the children.  I get to pick out pretty girly dresses, and talk fashion with teenagers.  I get to pass snotty quips back and forth with Martian.  I get to be Blondie’s “squishy teddy bear”  and help teach her to read (she just turned 6 and I was helping her read a Disney book this weekend…she had a little trouble with bigger words like “replied” but I was really surprised at how well she did for a kindergartener).  I get to teach Indy not to hit or pull hair, and I get to make faces at her smelly feet while I change a rancid “who fed this kid curry?” diaper.  And, I get to teach Savvy that it’s always better to be yourself in pictures because nobody likes a faker:

 

Note Savvy's fake princess pose.

Note Savvy's fake princess pose.

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Borrowed Girls and Pascal butt.

 

I know, I didn’t password protect them and someday, I’ll probably get my ass handed to me over it.  But I barely get to be online these days which means, it would take a while to get everyone the password and I just don’t have the time to hide this stuff.  Hey, I don’t really want to anyhow.  I’ll take my beating when it comes. 

 

Speaking of well-deserved beatings, I don’t know if I’ll get to see ya’ll today.  It’s the first of the month and Brian may need me to go to town.  He’s debating it at the moment which is how I got to write this.  I’m hoping that with the family here next week I’ll have more time online.  I took some extra days at work so Tina can go tourist with them which means a greater chance of me seeing ya’ll!  Yay!  See you ASAP!

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I should never EVER say I’ll get back online.  The last 24 hours has been much like an episode of 24. 

 

Within a few minutes of posting, Tina messed up a tire on the beloved Breeze.  In an attempt to get it fixed, Paladin and I got up and drove the 65 miles to Mom’s then went back to town with the tire (another 35 miles) and then reversed the process.  It was just 200+ miles, not including a stop on base to get a Dept. of Defense sticker for the van.  But that wasn’t the end of it…nooooo… 

 

Paladin has been in pain a lot during the last few days which isn’t unusual because his past brain surgeries have left him with constant low-grade pain.  This pain was extreme though and he was afraid that the valve in his brain wasn’t pumping correctly.  I said he probably had allergies and it was causing a build-up of fluid in his sinuses.  He ignored me.  But, he also hates to go to doctors and I eventually convinced him to try the sinus decongestants.  He felt much better after that.  Unfortunately, he also bugged me the whole day.  First, he bugged me because in the space of 5 minutes I hit the van and the fence backing out of the garage.  In my defense, he parked the van so that I had all of 6 inches of space TOTAL to get around the van, fence, and a small tree.  Hey, I MISSED THE TREE!  Then he bugged me because the car horn began going off every time I turned the wheel and obviously, I’d f**ked it up.  I did.  I know I did, and I took full responsibility.  He wasn’t mad or anything.  He just saw a comedic opening and took it.  Tina kept laughing at his jokes which just egged him on, of course. 

 

Then something horrible happened.  Pascal inadvertently got caught in a spot.  I won’t go into how he got there because its no one’s fault (no I didn’t do it).  When I found him, he was soaking wet with saliva and his tongue was lolled out and he was barely responding to me.  I have only experienced terror like that once before in my life when Will was a baby and had a high fever which sent him into a seizure.  I got a bottle of water down Pascal and dunked him in cool water too.  About 20 minutes later, he started responding better, and after a couple of hours, he was back to normal.  I’m trying not to cry just writing about it.  If I hadn’t found him when I did, I don’t think he’d have made it.  I’m so grateful to the powers that be that I shaved him down to his summer coat the night before.  If I hadn’t, I think I’d be burying my dog today, and I’m not sure I could recover from that.  He’s my baby.  But, at the same time, I couldn’t baby him the rest of the day because I didn’t want him to get all phobic.  Yes, I know, crazy ass dog lady.  I did the same thing when he was little and jumped off the sofa and hurt himself.  I learned that if I baby him for too long after an injury he goes completely “man” about it (i.e.- I’m dyyyyying…can’t you telllll…).  But I was seriously terrified, sick-to-my-stomach terrified.

 

Paladin then spent the rest of the day in full-on ORAL mode (Old Retired Army Lolligagger, that is).  The van needs a new fuel filter which Paladin was shocked to learn is actually inside the fuel tank.  Apparently, the last time Paladin did any mechanic work was before he got in the Army, but he fully expected cars to still work the same.  Ummm…no.  Now, everything is pretty much set up so that you MUST take it to a mechanic.  Commence with the cussing.  I have to giggle every single time.  Unfortunately, I also get that Claire Huxtible “oh god don’t let him know this appliance isn’t working” feeling, and for good reason.  The first time we had an appliance get messed up the dryer wasn’t working right.  I’m pretty sure the cord just wasn’t attached properly.  Two hours of cussing later…there were sparks flying out the back and the motor was toast.  I’m a little leary of him working on things like that now, and like an idiot, I have yet to learn that when he’s telling me about the problem I’m supposed to agree with whatever he says instead of my patented “I don’t know jack about this stuff; call Dave and Will” response.  Once he decided it was the fuel filter, I told him that I’d been through this already with the car and that it’s a delicate process and you should really get it done by a mechanic that is VERY trustworthy or at the dealer (on a trip to Georgia a few years ago, we had to keep our windows down the whole ride home because the Midas place that had changed the Breeze’s fuel filter hadn’t seated it properly and it leaked fumes into the car…who knows how many brain cells we lost before we realized it…they also WAY overcharged us, but, at the time, we were in a hurry to get to Fort Benning).  Silly me.  For some reason, Paladin loves the local Pennzoil place and I’m fine with that, but I’m pretty sure they don’t do this stuff.  I guess I’ll find out in a few minutes.  Anyhow, this caused him to think he’d pissed me off later that evening when I was grumbling over the damned German cookies he bought (uhh…it ain’t a cookie!  it’s a Ritz cracker with not-very-sweet frosting in the middle…and why does every German food open like a pack of cigarettes?).  The darned things spewed crumbs EVERYWHERE the second I opened them and I spent half an hour picking them up and vacuuming.  I told him never to buy them again.  If a grown woman can’t keep them from ending up everywhere, what chance do children have?  Of course, he wasn’t convinced that I wasn’t pissed.  So I took him to bed and made my point.  😉  lol  And that freakin’ Sesame Street song played in my head the entire time…aaarrrggghhhh….

 

I hate to say it, but I’ve got to go.  I’ll see ya’ll next week fo sho!  But, I’m screwed right now.  I lost a day’s work to all that and I have to get the house cleaned before the kids get here later.  😦  Byes!

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Monday, Paladin and I finished up killing the clown.  Have I mentioned my hatred of the yellow-orange walls in the new master bedroom?  Here they are in all their clown-puke glory:

 

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I seriously hated that color and not just because it felt like the looming shadow of his ex’s bad taste hanging over me…which it did.  I also hated it because the tone of the orange was just all wrong even though you can’t tell it from the picture.  For me, orange should either be true orange or a deeper dusty version of burnt orange.  Savvy had to tell me all about the orange and how she was there when it was painted (Mull didn’t do crap…surprise, surprise…she just “supervised” and left the masking tape up for infinity…just imagine the streams of curses that are going to fly when I spend a weekend or two trying to scrape that off the molding).  I told her it was ugly and it looked like a clown exploded.  I told ya…I don’t lie to children if I can help it.  I also told them it was going away.  I’ve been quite adamant about this. 

 

Paladin gave me a little grief about the color.  At first, he pined for blue.  No.  I looked at a couple of cans of gold “oops paint” (the mis-mixed paint that sells for half-price in most paint departments), and he approved.  I didn’t.  I chose “Swallow’s Nest” from Walmart and we picked it up last Friday.  He made a deal with me early on that I could do the master bedroom as I pleased.  I knew that once he saw my style, he would accept that I am Queen of the Decorating and stop making suggestions.  But, first we had to paint the room.  His immediate reaction to the color?  “It looks like baby poop.”  But by the time, all was said and done and I had explained my choice, he loved it.

 

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The picture doesn’t do it justice.  A beautiful neutral is always in style and it always makes the colors around it POP! 

 

Speaking of beautiful neutrals, I’m pretty sure the room would also go well with our cat, Pyewacket.  Pye is a calico cat (I’m guessing…I don’t know squat about cats) that showed up at my trailer door one night.  She kept hanging around and trying to come inside because she is obviously an indoor cat.  She’s exceptionally sweet and friendly and most importantly, she rolls over for Pascal.  They are like brother and sister and it’s really cute.  Monday night, Paladin, who is a huge cat lover, took Pyewacket out to the Deridder house to live outside in the garage (I’m allergic to cats), and she seems to be doing nicely already.  I am fond of her, but she needs to be there because Dave and Will are huge cat killers.  I’ve spent a month trying to keep them from scaring her to death or actually killing her.  I’m pretty sure it’s only her sweet nature and me that have kept them from murdering her.  Don’t ask me why they don’t like cats because I have no idea.  I’m neutral on the cat subject except for hating having one in the house because I can’t stand an animal on the kitchen counters.  ICK!  But Pye is a beauty…a precarious beauty just like in the movie.

 

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