Mother’s Day is almost here, and I’m so glad I didn’t notice that until 2 days ago. For one thing, it leaves me no time to lament my childlessness (though we’ll see how I feel come Sunday). For another thing, if I had remembered earlier, Paladin and I would have probably made sure that the kids picked out something for Mull. Perhaps we should have picked her up a Mother of the Year banner? Nah. I doubt she’d have gotten the joke. On the other hand, it meant picking out something for my Mom, Paladin’s first step-mother JoDee, and his second & current step-mother Susan at the last minute. Out of the blue, I thought, ‘How about those digital picture keychain things?’ So we logged onto Walmart’s site only to discover that they were running out of them FAST and that they’d probably take forever to get to the store. Since we wanted to load pics of the kids on them, we needed them in our hands first. So we headed over to Big Lots with Tina the other night and found a few for $12. SCORE! That was a bit cheaper than Walmart and we could load them and they’d probably only get them a few days late. I have to say that these are really good quality and the software is easy to use and they can be charged on my Motorolla phone charger (I wish I’d wrangled one for myself!). They’re Pandigital’s Model PAN1802A and the screen is a tiny bit bigger than the others we saw, but they do only hold about 40 photos. Still, I was impressed by the quality (the crappiness of the pic above is all my own doing), the ease of use, the automatic shut-off to save battery power, and the fact that it comes with both the keychain and a picture frame set-up. The downside is that there’s no slideshow feature. Now, they can put them on their desks at work and torture others with the cuteness of the children and the hotness of myself. heh So if any of you are stuck for something, I’d recommend it.
Of course, this isn’t at all what I got online to write about. I’m extremely torn between guilt and happiness.
As I mentioned last time, we’ve had some dog trouble. The second Mull found out that Paladin was moving back into the house she decided he should take the 2 medium sized dogs that they’d had for years. I don’t blame her for that. They had kept them as inside dogs and do they ever SHED! It took 3 weeks to get the hair out of this house when we took them to Mom’s but I’ll get to that later. What I would like to strangle her for is giving Paladin a hard time about making them outside dogs. No self-respecting Southerner would ever have let these dogs into their home. It doesn’t get cold enough here to bother most dogs and we’d have just fixed up a spot in the garage or outbuilding that would be nice and warm for them. Not this bunch. Paladin is as much at fault for it as Mull because he’s a huge animal lover and just feels guilty any time he treats them as less than mini-humans. So, when he got Sally and Sam back from Mull, he was happy as a clam, but he was still in the Army and had to leave them outside during the day. Mull immediately threw a fit over it and had the children calling him up crying and begging him not to let their dogs freeze to death (it’s wrong of me…I know it’s evil…but I really wish Mull would run into the wrong guy sometimes). Emotional blackmail is Mull’s stock and trade (unfortunately, I’m seeing the children are learning how to use it too…especially Bell). They got over it.
A few weeks ago, I convinced Paladin that it was best to take Sally and Sam to my Mom’s house until we fixed some holes in the fence. We had been leaving them here alone for those 3 days I work with plenty of food and water and they were comfortable, but it was always a mess to clean up when we got back. It just was a bad idea to leave them here. They needed to be outside with people taking care of them. So, we left them in Dave’s hands. No problem…at first. Then they got loose one day while Dave and Will were here working on the renovation. The Brothers got home and searched high and low for them at all the neighbors, but there wasn’t a trace. Did I mention that these are 2 of the stupidest dogs I’ve ever seen? They are definitely in the top 3 (with the top spot going to Dave’s dog which was an absolute slobbering idiot whose only reason rotated around getting his rocks off). They don’t answer when called or anything that most dogs learn to do even through osmosis. I can’t entirely blame the dogs because Paladin and Mull didn’t teach them anything, but that said, these dogs still don’t follow normal dog instincts very much. In the country, if your dog runs off, within a day or two they show up for food either at your house or at one of the neighbors. Not these dogs. We searched for days. Eventually, the preacher down the road said that he’d fed them (they had leads attached and why he didn’t catch them and call the neighbors I don’t know…it’s common courtesy where we live!…he could have at least called animal control because they knew we were looking for the dogs too). That was the only sighting in 4 days.
After almost a week of sleepless nights and daily walks screaming their names, Paladin and I were talking in bed and he was convinced that they had gotten tangled up in the swamp brush and died.
My guilt-o-meter was on high. I’ve wanted those dogs out of this house since they got here. Like I said, they SHED bucket loads and are too big to be inside in my opinion. I know other people have dogs like that inside, Lola, but I just can’t do it. It’s unsanitary. They can reach my kitchen countertops! And Sam’s the worst for it. No matter what I did, there was just tons of crinkly black hair everywhere. It looked like an Eastern Block prison matron’s pube was going bald all over my floors!!!
So with a little guilt and a tiny, tiny little bit of schadenfreude, I convinced Paladin to go with Dave and take a look one last time. In an absolute miracle, they found them! They weren’t 10 feet from the end of the dirt road where we had been walking and screaming for them for a week. We’d slowly driven past the spot where they were found searching for them twice a day the entire time. My guess is that they were there for about a day with us calling for them and walking within 10 feet of them. They were thirsty but not really dehydrated when we found them and that’s one reason that I think they weren’t there for long. However, Sam’s leg had been caught tight in his lead. He was putting pressure on it, and it wasn’t swollen much. So, we waited a day before we took him to the vet. The vet gave us a 50% survival rate for the leg. In the end, we decided it would be safer and probably even more humane to amputate. It’s horrible. We HATED doing it. But, it was what was best for Sam.
During the week that the dogs were missing, the children were visiting and telling us that “Mom says you put Sally and Sam in the pound and killed them.” Yeah, I wish Mull’d meet one of those lovely violent men that would beat her ass at least ONCE! I’m not saying it should be permanent or that anything should scar anyone for life. But to paraphrase Chris Rock, “I won’t hit a woman, but I will shake a b***h!” She needs shaken. Shaken Baby Syndrome, shaken! We reminded the kids that this wasn’t true. But they were missing and we were preparing to have to lie to them about the dogs whereabouts until after the divorce. Then just a couple of days later we found the dogs. Now, we just have to explain why Sam has 3 legs. I voted that we convince them he always had 3 legs, but Paladin says they won’t buy it.
I am genuinely happy that Sam and Sally are back and safe. It breaks my heart to see Sam’s bald stump, but his only problem so far has been trying to figure out how why he can’t lift his leg to pee. It’s not in my nature or my family’s nature to get all down when something bad happens. Hence, Dave’s comment, “All he has to do is lose an eye now, and we can rename him Lucky!” (Dave felt so bad when those dogs went missing on his watch that I thought he might cry for a minute…Sam was his favorite too) Paladin doesn’t get the humor as much. He worries mostly, but I remind him constantly that dogs are like kids and if you treat things as ‘no big deal’ they usually do too. Sam is still the big happy dumb lummox he always was. I wish I’d had video of us taking him outside earlier. He slammed his cone into everything he came near. He keeps it up and he’s going to need an MRI! But I did take pics though they aren’t for the faint of heart (or stomach!):
And to prove that I still love you. Adorable pics of Indy carrying this doll I made many moons ago. She picked it up and started putting it to bed and carrying it around the house all on her own. I fell just gazillions deeper in love with that child when she carried her Wubby and put it to bed. Bitter sweet moment, I tell ya.
I love her shoes! We picked them up at Walmart on clearance because Mull only sent her in orange sandals and it was raining hard. They have every shade of pink and a smattering of green, orange, blue, and yellow which means that they make her outfits MATCH! Believe me, Mull has sent her in things that match a grand total of twice in 6 months. It drives me freakin’ nuts. The pants and top she’s wearing don’t match each other but the shoes make them work! Yay! Now, if Mull will just let her wear them. I’m hoping that since she wore them home, Mull won’t notice that we bought them. If Mull notices that they’re new, it will be like Savvy & Blondie’s new underwear; Blondie finally showed up with 2 pair of them this visit after they’ve had them for a MONTH. Their condition? Brand new and still rolled and taped the way they come out of the package. Still no sightings of anything else we’ve bought them except for the shoes we let them wear home. I could understand it if she went out and bought them underwear instead of letting them wear ours, but why deprive them if there’s new non-stained underwear just sitting there? I still say she needs a little SBS (Shaken B***h Syndrome)!
Oh well, I better go fix the water pipes…again… Hopefully, I’ll be able to get back on soon and see ya’ll! Byes!