Archive for the ‘Downfall of the world’ Category

I just put this up on Facebook and I wanted ya’ll to see it to.  It’s a sucky post but it’s the best I can do at the moment.  I miss you and thanks for thinking about me (especially you, Heather  🙂  ) and for still looking at this thing.  If you have Facebook, please add me (Anna Lee Meade from Alexandria, LA).  I’m not abandoning the blog…yet.  It’s just that I need to consolidate for now.  I’m going to try to come back here in the next couple of weeks to put up pics of the dresses etc.  Anyhow…here is the so-called “short” version…



First, THANK YOU for all of the lovely birthday wishes.  I do appreciate them.  Although I didn’t get on Facebook, I did check my email twice in the last month.  What?  That’s some kind of speed record for me!  😉  I wanted you to know that I got them and that I felt very cared for when I saw that even though I’ve been MIA for months you haven’t forgotten about me.


For those of you who don’t know, my mother had a bad fall at the end of June.  She fell in her kitchen while she was alone and broke her left femur, her right wrist in 2 places, and her right shoulder.  Mom has been shuffled from hospital to hospital for the last 2 months.  The break in her left femur became infected and she had a second surgery to take care of that.  She got home this last weekend, but we’re still watching for infection.  All in all, she is doing much better even though she is still on a wound vac.  And for any of you behind the Obama health plan, just keep in mind that the current system is what kept Mom being shuffled around and kept Tina in doctors offices for TWO DAYS just to get her 15 prescriptions filled; that’s the plan they want to tighten the controls on.  And, yes, Mike has read the actual plan and kept me well-informed on it.


And that was the easiest part of my last 2 months…


Also, for those of you who don’t know or haven’t noticed (and I’m not trying to make you feel bad about it because I’ve been living under a rock!  🙂  ), I’m getting married!  I’m marrying Michael Bradley Jackson on September 4th if the good Lord’s willin’ an’ the creeks don’ rise!  This has been made more hectic and more interesting by the fact that Mike has 5 children.  Yeah, I said FIVE from the age of 3 to 16 and only one boy in the bunch.  His ex has been neglecting them and treating them like a three year old with a formerly well-loved doll; she loves them but ignores them the vast majority of the time.  Recently, her neglect has taken a very serious turn.  For months, we had been trying to get it through to her that the 3yr. old is supposed to have a poop more than once a week.  A couple of weeks ago, we ended up taking the baby to the ER twice (first visit the doc gave her a suppository and a 10gram dose of laxative…17grams is the adult dose…and it didn’t work).  On the second ER visit, Mike’s ex showed up with military police and tried to prevent him from getting the baby care.  It didn’t come out in her favor, but the cop flat out told us to call CPS on her.  We have.  That was over a week ago and CPS hasn’t even interviewed anyone.  So, yeah, we’re a bit preoccupied with that.  If that’s not enough, this Monday is Mike’s final divorce proceeding (it was supposed to be in June but his ex didn’t bother to file the final motion…his lawyer had to do it).  Because his divorce isn’t final and a crap storm may hit with CPS at any moment, the wedding invitations won’t go out until after Monday.  Yep, with luck I’m marrying Michael Jackson next month.  And, yeah, I’m pretty sure we’ve heard all the jokes.  😉  But this Jackson is so white he can’t moonwalk.  Did I mention that I’m making all of the dresses and all of the flower arrangements and we haven’t found an officiant or found a cake or bought rings yet???  Breathe…


Finally, I’ve just been informed that with the state budget cuts in health care I will be losing work hours…over HALF of my work hours.  I’m tied up in knots about it, but Mike’s all, “We’re doing great.”  He’s right.  Our income, I should say HIS income, finally leveled out this last month, and now he’s making about $300 more a month than when he was in the Army.  It turns out that a brain tumor is profitable, but only if you live through it.  The VA ended up rating him something like 240% disability, but they only pay the 100% which is still very good.  But, I don’t like that I’m not contributing as much as I used to even if it’s nothing compared to his.  The worst part is that because of the nature of the job.  I’m still going to be doing the same amount of work.  It’s just going to be done out of the goodness of my own heart now.  😦


There were lots of little day to day kicks to the gut around here recently, but these three things are what have kept me hopping and running to keep up with my life for months now.  Mostly it’s the kids that have kept me running.  We’ve had them most of July and part of August.  I love these babies to death, but every time we have them, we find out more about how crappy their lives are.  It’s been one long festival of this ex trying to take the 14yr. old boy out of school to take care of the 3yr. old (which was a long battle, but thankfully, he’s in school now) and right after the ER thing, we found out that she’s been letting the 6yr. old sleep with her and her boyfriend most nights.  Where the heck is CPS?  They know all of this and more and they are still not showing up.  Now, you know the real reason I haven’t been online.  If I stay online like this I’ll keep talking to everyone and these bustles will not get finished today and I’ve got about 2 weeks and my dress hasn’t really been started.  Life is hard.  No doubt about it.  I would love nothing more than to be able to catch up with ya’ll, and I hope I can some day soon.  In the meantime, I’ll at least try to show up once in a blue moon to share and peek at your lives.


Give me your addresses to get your invites!!!  Oh, and if you know I have your address, confirm it anyhow, pretty please?  I have the most messed up address book!  lol


Talk to you as soon as I can!  Oh and when you don’t get on this enough, you find weird pics like people petting parrots that may or may not be ceramic.  This disturbs me…


Hugs, Anna

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With any luck, Mom will be moved into the rehab today after less than a week!  She’s doing that well.  That’s 2 weeks ahead of schedule.  So we’re hoping that it won’t take the full 6 weeks to get her home again.  The problem is that the Brothers are going to have to fast track some home renovations to get the place wheelchair accessible.  Over the years, when Tina and I did minor renovations, we did think ahead and add grab bars and a wider bedroom door for Mom.  But, this one is going to be bigger.  We’re hoping that some community organizations will offer up some supplies.  We’ve got the labor (fortunately, the Brothers and Dad used to run a small time construction company that did home renovations for the elderly and handicapped…so they know what the legalities are).  We’ve just got to work with what we have for now.  If it’s not good enough for the home health folks, they will just have to live with it!

Tomorrow, we take Brian to the VA in Pineville and we are going to be able to see Mom again.  Tina’s been pulling the heavy load this time, but if nothing comes up, I’m going to try to sneak over next week and do an overnight stay with Mom.  Tina stayed the last 2 nights, but at least the room they have her in is big enough to be comfortable.  It’s got the sofa and sleeper chair of death.  Man, those are a pain in the butt (literally!) to sleep in.  Torture devices, pure and simple!  At least the pain management skills of the nurses is up to par instead of the way it was last year when I spent a week with Mom in the same type of situation.  I think it also helps that she’s in traction.  Yeah, she can still complain and wants to be moved around just as much.  But there are only 2 decent positions to get into this time.  That takes away some of the guess work.

I’m sorry I didn’t get around to the internet yesterday.  Scratch that.  I’m not sorry.  I slept like I was dead and it felt oh so good.  I got up later than I have in over a year.  I felt so good all day and without a drop of caffeine!  It was awesome! 

Then we went out to pick up dinner and it was a little less awesome.  We tried the mexican place around the corner again.  The last time we tried it, it was barely ok.  Then it shut down within days.  Obviously, it was a health department thing.  When we went back to the “new” place, it was the exact same people with a new septic system, a slightly different menu, slightly higher prices, and just as “ok” an outcome.  You’re actual Mexicans!  Aren’t you ashamed when you see this food go out?  I can do better and I know a real Mexican or 2 that can back me up on that!  Stop trying to Americanize it.  Do what your mama would do!  I guarantee the gringos will come!  It truly saddens me.  The other Mexican place is way better and it’s run by a Korean lady.  That is just wrong.

Oh and the zucchini…it’s back.  I had no sooner canned that last batch than I had gathered about that much more.  I figure I’m about two thirds through the entire zucchini season.  Seriously, I want those recipes!  🙂  Paladin was talking last night about wanting a zucchini bread recipe.  I’m obviously really bad for his low carb diet.

I’m off to catch up on ya’ll now.  🙂

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It was her stolen idea, and now, I’ve stolen it.  Just a bunch of lazy thieves around this place, I tell ya!  I have two great reasons: I have extra time for a short post.  And, I do have a few things on my chest.  I usually just spit it out, but I’m really good at hiding things from the people I’m in a relationship with and those I love.  I’m not sure if its a byproduct of being a woman or of being a fat woman.  It sometimes seems like those of us in the dreaded “fat” club (and I’ve known skinny girls in it too) just don’t always feel able to speak up to those we love or those we want to love us.  So here goes…

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Certain People- (I’m not going to bother with the disclaimer.  Feel free to guess the person in question.  It will be like a game show!)

  1. I faked it every…single…time.
  2. I was told it was an olive branch.  I just want to stick it up your whooha and make tapenade!
  3. I almost cried when I realized that I had a grandpa again.  You’re one of the few reasons that I’m sorry its over.
  4. You’re a teenager.  I don’t care what you tell yourself or how old you are physically.  You ARE a teenager.
  5. I’m not sorry it’s over.  It’s actually a relief in some ways.  I’ll regret it, but I also breath easier.
  6. I have wiped your ass.  You should never speak to me in less than the nicest of tones.
  7. Are you ever going to tell him that the REAL reason you waited so long is you are absolutely shallow in every sense of the word?
  8. I know what he said to you.  You and I both know it wasn’t an accident.
  9. YES!  It is a sore point.  It always will be and I’d think that after I’ve told you that in every subtle way I can that you’d get the clue.  You’re not stupid.  Are you just playing dumb?
  10. You have completely devolved and I don’t know who you are anymore.  I don’t think I want to know either.  I’m sorry, but I think it was meant to happen because we just don’t fit anymore.

Maybe I should have just written about the Gosselins or Rachael Ray?  I can’t stand either one of them.  Ahhh…celebrities…the last people we’re allowed to bash.  I love them so.  You can’t just say to someone, “You suck as a parent and I wish your kids would get put in foster care because they’re bound to do better than you even in that system!” in real life.  Why not?  Because that’s irresponsible.  If I said everything I wanted to say to the people in my life?  I’d be one lonely hermit which is the same thing everyone else would be.  Stupid society and it’s rules of behavior.  Bah!

I can say things like:

Octomom, you’re an idiot.  Didn’t you know America only likes people who have 8 kids AND a husband?  There has to be someone around to hit in the head when things are going wrong!  And would it kill you to drag everyone to church constantly to show just how much you believe in God?  See, then you wouldn’t have to be nice to the people around you.  I know, Angelina gets by without going, but she’s also spreadeagled over Brad Pitt every time you turn around.  She gets a free pass.  You’ve got to aim lower…cable television lower.

But, I can only say it to celebrities.  I can’t tell every whore I know, “You keep going to church and announcing it to everyone around you like you’re curing cancer.  Why is that?  Ok, so you went to church.  None of the messages are creeping in.  That just makes me think there’s something wrong going on in that church.”  Seriously, why is it that the biggest whores I know are constantly headed to church?  Do they even make it in the doors without feeling a little electrical shock?  Or, do they get side tracked by the pretty lights and the shiny pole on their way there?  What is up with that?

Obviously, I had extra time on my hands here.  Don’t you miss those days when I had tons of extra time and could write this sort of stuff constantly?  If so, then you really must be bored too.  🙂  Some people aren’t bored enough though.  That blogroll on the side there is going to be pared down one of these days.  There are few things lower than the blogger who shows up just long enough for you to add them to your blogroll and then disappears.  I realize some people blog for the camaraderie and to build friendships.  I guess I do to some extent, as well.  The truth is that I like the distance sometimes.  I love knowing all of you.  It’s just that life inside this box gets to feeling too tight.  The human contact thing is slightly important to me.  I’ve never been all touchy-feely but human connection is vital to everyone.  On the one hand, I don’t feel the need to forward ya’ll emails about soldiers fighting in their underwear, but on the other hand, I would like to go beyond the homepage especially when you’re hurting or going through something you are trying desperately to handle.  The truth is I’d rather you just pick up the phone.  Remember those quaint pieces of machinery?  I’ve never had any intention of saving the world, but I always want to be a safe place to fall.  So, if I don’t get on your site constantly, it’s not that I’m not thinking about you.  If I’m not emailing you twice a day and sitting on Yahoo Messenger stalking you, you might just have to live with that.  I’m still around.  I’m just difficult to reach.  Oh, and Der Stalker, I changed my phone number.  Everybody else can have the new one though!  🙂

Go on.  Say something without fear of retribution.

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Ok, I haven’t really felt like writing yet this week despite having great material like Mull telling the children we had killed their dogs and an adorable Indy carrying around the doll I made last year for the children I was/am hoping to have.  Nope, not even a 15 minute conversation in the van with Tina telling Paladin and I all about how my cousin has never orgasmed during sex and that while she helped her pick out a vibrating penis ring online, my Mom decided to create penises with her therapeutic sculpting clay (it’s supposed to help build muscle strength) could even convince me to write.  And then it happened for the gazillionth time!!!


Paladin put the toilet paper on the holder to unroll from the back!  THE HUMANITY!  AARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!

It’s not just the toilet paper.  He does it to the paper towels too.  It’s irking me to the ends of my tentative sanity!  I know I should be grateful that he changes them at all, but hasn’t he noticed that I keep turning them around after he’s put them up?  I thought maybe it was just me but then I Clusty’d it.  Lo and behold, there are entire websites devoted to this subject and the vast majority of those polled agree with me!  The toilet paper should roll away from the WALL!  DAMMIT!  I like to pick the number of sheets I need and not have gravity and physics do it for me!  Gravity can suck it!  Grrrr….


Ok.  I feel better now.  🙂  Who screwed with your toilet paper?

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I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I talked to Gig last night on the phone for a few hours.  I was keeping it light, but worked in some important points like ‘I’m not looking for marriage or anything else in particular.’  I wasn’t sure if I had explained why I was going to be married so long, and I decided to really explain that to him.  I like people to know where I am, and I prefer to know where they are.  When you say what something is and are clear about it, you don’t have to wonder all the time and there’s no drama.  I also reminded him that we’ve only been talking a couple of weeks, and that there is no need for him to get too scared yet.


I haven’t really found out much about this Friend of his, but from the way he was talking, I surmised that he went to meet Friend at the Isle of Capri casino, and not to far in, Friend told him that she was talking to another guy as well.  Gig couldn’t say much to that considering he was still texting me (though we hadn’t talked on the phone for a few days…I suspect that he met her that night after we last talked on Friday and after he sent the email).  I’m unsure about the timeline of all this, but either that night or on Saturday, Gig was told by Friend that this other guy had offered her marriage (lol that’s an old one…heck, in my salad days, I used it once or twice…if the guy is lackadaisical you know he’s not really into you and you know where you really stand).  Gig was very much, “Really?  That’s weird for a guy to do that so soon.”  In other words, she made it known that she wanted marriage and he made it obvious that he’s not biting.  I don’t know if throwing up an alleged engagement qualifies as playing mind games, but I don’t think it’s a good practice if you’ve known someone so long that you consider them a friend.  Doesn’t sound like much of a friend at all.  But, it’s also none of my business at the moment.


There are other things going on as well in Gig’s head though.  He talked about his weight last night and how he wants to get it down because he’s got a jelly belly now.  Big whoop!  He’s seen mine enough to know I ain’t in no position to judge!  But, there’s an interesting study that came out a few days ago about men being more self-conscious about their bodies because of repeated exposure to magazines like Maxim and to pornography.  Sure, it was all well and good when it was just the ladies having their body image in the gutter.  Now that it’s affecting guys too, I wonder if anything will be done about it?  Nope?  I didn’t think so.  Better learn to thicken your skin and mentally check yourself, boys.  That’s what we have to do.  Advertising has been the bane of human existence for a while now, and it’s sure to get worse as more methods for introduction of ideas become available.  One day, it’s going to be like a futurist flick like The Fifth Element and advertising will be on such overload that you’ll just blindly follow it.  What do you mean, “We already do that?”  C’est la vie!


Anyhow, what it all boils down to is that Gig seems to be truthful.  That’s great.  Hey, it’s been so long since I met a truthful guy I won’t know what to do with him.  At the same time, I’m not placing any bets on Gig for the long haul.  I’m not a “rush in” kind of girl unless I know someone else is “all in”, and with Gig that would take a long time to ascertain.  Gig has made hints about living arrangements, but very light, light hints.  So, I’m not so sure he isn’t hoping to find someone to live with as well as love.  I so don’t want to be in that position again either.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t go there, but I am saying that it would take a lot to get me there.


As for Dull boy, we have a date tomorrow for an early lunch.  I hope he isn’t expecting much because I haven’t mentioned the size of my ass yet (me thinks I shall go send an email on the subject).  I think he’s really just happy to have anyone to talk to really.  He’s one of the more typical types of soldiers unfortunately.  All soldiers seem to have one thing in common: damaged relationships.  They tend to be a bit needy.  Yes, even the cocky ones are needy the minute they start getting close to you.  So, we’ll see how it goes, but I’m betting it will be a one-off date.


Now, for really interesting news!  Remember Ken?  Muahaha!  Sorry, I couldn’t resist the evil laughter.  I got a message yesterday from a fellow named Jeff.  Jeff has messaged me a few times, but never anything of a “let’s get together nature”.  He seems to act almost in a therapist or guardian angel capacity, and I honestly haven’t figured him out.  But, anytime my “status” indicator dips into an unhappy area, I get a message from him.  Saturday was NOT a happy day, and Jeff sent me a message asking me what was up.  I answered him in general terms and he sent me a message back yesterday asking if I remembered Ken.  Why, yes, I do.  Apparently, Peggy from Oklahoma (the one who was looking at my profile and who I assumed Ken had thrown me over for) has been talking to Jeff and I struck a nerve in their relationship.  Why?  I couldn’t tell ya.  Ken and I were just getting started or so I thought, maybe he thought it was more or maybe Peggy thought it was.  At any rate, Jeff informs me that he counseled Peggy to break it off with Ken; like I care one way or the other.  I just laughed and told him to tell her she could message me anytime she wanted, but that nothing had gotten started really and Ken and I hadn’t had sex or anything like that.  What it all comes down to is that Ken is probably so worried about his erectile dysfunction and so afraid of commitment to anyone that he’s probably never going to break out those little blue pills much less form a real relationship. 


It’s kind of sad.  I always feel badly for people who won’t put themselves out there.  Several people have commented lately that I show some courage in not only putting myself out there and being honest with others, but also, in sticking my neck out time and again.  Wasn’t there a song a few years ago about life being a giant high school situation?  It is so very true.  I sucked at high school drama.  I stood on the outside looking in and gave advice to others.  I was halfway between 25 and 30 when I was sitting in my cold living room feeling the emptiness all around me, and I realized that the way I had been living had done nothing for me.  I made up my mind to study the way other people did it and jump in with both feet.  Thank god for the internet is all I can say.  With the internet, I was able to ease myself into the game and get my footing, but those were in those long ago days when I was hugely overweight.  Now, it seems to be a different ballgame altogether.  I’m starting to think that I need to try some more conventional means of meeting people, but I really, really don’t want to!  I know that after my surgery I will probably do just that, but for now, I’m happy easing back into things and finding my footing yet again.  There’s nothing noble about that, and I certainly don’t feel courageous.  I’m a bundle of nerves over it all, and I feel that way every single first phone call and every single first meeting.  But, I still try to believe in the ‘contented ever after’ scenario if not the ‘happily ever after’ one.  I’m a speculative, reluctant optimist at best, but I try.  It’s really all you can do in this life.


I know there must be more interesting things going on with ya’ll, but I’m stuck at home today on dial-up and trying to rid my computer of malware that M. downloaded (probably from a porn site while my Zonealarm was down) which requires several hours of download time during which I will not be online (unless I want to wait 2 mos. to get this program downloaded).  Hopefully, tomorrow afternoon will be a different story!  🙂

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What happened to service in this country? I just called the mechanic. He’s had our car since last Thursday, and he says that MAYBE he can get started on it today or tomorrow. Of course, if I didn’t have the cash sitting around to pay him, he’d be done already. Instead, we’ve been borrowing Mr. Ralph’s truck to get from home to work, and we HATE borrowing like that. I’m so glad we work here though. The real problem is M. He missed all but one day of school last week (partially because I had training for days before the car broke down), and now he’s missed 2 more days. Lazy SOB better be keeping up with his work (I used to nudge him to make sure he worked ahead, but without me breathing down his neck, he’s probably just coasting)! He is so out of here the minute he gets back from Japan at the end of January.



In more “How big an idiot is Honeywine?” news… I got pulled into what was at first a seemingly innocent conversation online last night with Brian’s brother Jon (I mean really innocent…as in, how was your first real weekend at work). Yeah…it wasn’t innocent for long. Apparently, his hobby is broadcasting himself performing…uh…let’s just call it “human tricks”…via webcam. I have never been happier to be on dial-up in my life; it was all that saved me from being privy to the show. He just would not take no for an answer, not even when I suggested lawsuits. Man, I hope he forgets all about this by the time he comes back up here. If not, I may have to get Brian to have a talk with him. I am NOT down with the Manjina! I’ve never been that desperate. Though…it would complete the box set of “People I’ve seen naked at work”. LOL Nah….don’t think so!



Along those same lines… What the heck makes men think that messaging someone a vulgar sexual comment will get them anywhere? I’ll tell you what! Some idiotic woman let them do it and messaged them back! Whoever she is, she does a disservice to us all! Nope, sorry…yes it’s huge…now go away…come back when you can do more than grunt and your IQ has quadrupled. Sicko!


I think it’s quite obvious that I’m as freewheeling and kinky as the next girl. Ok, just a tiny bit more. What can I say? I love fantasy. But, just because I lay some cheesy line on you (so, if I said you had a beautiful body, you would hold it against me and do WHAT?  gross!), it doesn’t mean that I’m going to run right over to your place and throw down. Geezzz…buy a gal dinner a couple of times! I’m a third date ho dammit! Let’s class it up a bit out there!


There are a lot of things in this world in need of classing up!  So, how would ya’ll class it up today?

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I am so bored without M. here.  He’s been gone so long I actually MISS HIM!  Now, that’s a feat!  He didn’t call yesterday.  So, I finally called him at 10:30 last night.  He was peeing on some back street in New Orleans (I’m sure he’s not the first).  They’ve finally let him do some patrols.  I feel for you N.O. 


If we hear a big noise in the house in the middle of the night, he tells ME to go find out what it was.  I realize I’m far scarier than he is, but MAN UP!  I guess I’m old-fashioned in that way.  Ok, in most ways.  Anyone who thinks the women’s movement didn’t really change woman’s lot in life has never been married.  The changes have seeped into our national subconscious.  My favorite example of this: an ADT commercial where the husband hears a noise and goes downstairs to investigate when a masked robber breaks in the door…he races upstairs where the children join the husband and wife in bed…he’s cowering with the children in his arms and she’s calmly answering the ADT call to get the police. 


Then again, just when you think we’ve changed, you turn on TLC to discover Toddlers and Tiaras.  If you missed it, you should just start kicking yourself now!  In fact, self flagellation should be on your itinerary daily!  Just get out that cat o’ nine tails you hide under the bed and get with it.  It, like many pageant shows, is at once frightening and spellbinding.  I’m genuinely shocked that the chubby kid, Bella, won Supreme Queen of the Holy Sequins (or something to that effect).  Not that she isn’t a cute kid, but (ok this will sound really catty…you must see the show to appreciate it) the hideousness of the outfits, particularly the cut-down, imitation of a light blue Elvis cape she wore for the talent portion was downright scary.  I refuse to speak of that dark fuzzy blue sequined get up she had on; it looked like Barney had given birth.  Bella just wasn’t that good at it either.  I mean the disturbing kid who wanted to win $700 so she could get a cow was far more impressive in her pageant creepiness (I honestly believe that the judges just sit there and wait to see either who is more creepy or whose sequins blind them the most).  Did I mention that her fake teeth cost $700?  That’s not counting the cost of the spray tanning and the 3 pageant outfits with the requisite bows and sequins and lace.  Karlee, who will forever be that cow kid in my mind, could have had a herd of cows by now!  She could be the Donald Trump of cows by now!  Actually, it was hard to choose which was creepier: the flippers (fake teeth), the spray tans, the bouffant hair dos, or the mothers (last night I had a nightmare that Ginger was wearing a bouffant…obviously I shouldn’t do blow while watching TLC). 


I vote for the mothers.  The mother from Jackson, MS was the queen of these (right next to creepy cow girl’s mummy).  When her youngest pageant child, Aja (I’m pretty sure someone just mispronounced Asia when they named her…or maybe they don’t spell in Mississippi…lowest literacy rates in the country…I’m just sayin’), freaked out and began crying, the cameras thoughtfully (thanks camera guy with no sense of conscience or guilt) captured her berating her child by threatening to take away her jewelry, makeup and pretty dress and telling her that she wouldn’t be a Princess anymore.  OMG!  The therapy that child will need!  I don’t know if I can ever erase the look of sheer terror in Aja’s eyes as the poor child stumbled across the stage after her mother’s machinations.  It kind of makes those rumors that Shirley Temple’s mother made her smoke to keep her small a little more believable.  I’m pretty sure Aja’s mommy would have grabbed a rubber hose if she’d had room to pack one in the minivan full of sequins. 


That said the babies…ADORABLE!  Maybe there should be a rule that once your child can form full sentences, you can’t parade them like prize pigs…or prize cows (wuuu…giant creepy thought…what if Karlee just wants the cow so she can put bows on it and parade it around?  can you get flippers for cows? EEEEEKKK!  save the cows!)?


Ok, your turn!  Confess!  Do you secretly long to put fake teeth and bows on living creatures?  Are you planning to spray tan a cow?


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