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Posts Tagged ‘dooce’

Revelations

 

Gig and I have been talking CONSTANTLY.  I mean, hours and hours out of everyday and that’s when we’re not texting each other off and on during the day.  Yes, this IS why I haven’t had time to blog.  I know, ya’ll figured that out a while ago, but the two jobs and daily errands aren’t helping either, but until we all start grossing what Dooce does, this is my life.   Did anyone else hear Bon Jovi right then?  Anyhoo…back to Gig.

 

Last night, in Gig’s haphazard way, I got some of the dish on Friend, and yes, he did indeed send her packing.  In fact, he spent last weekend feeling very sorry that he had fallen for her crap again (“again” was his word and yes it gives me pause) and that she had caused him even a moment’s doubt where I was concerned.  Uh…ya think?  He also has spent the last two days talking more and more about wanting to see me.  Maybe he does now that he’s sure Friend was just jerking him around, but maybe it’s just that he knows I’m not available this weekend and there’s no chance he would have to follow through.

 

The night before last, we got on Yahoo to chat instead of the phone because he had gotten a new camera and was trying to figure it out and do laundry and a few other things.  At the time, I wondered if it was because he wanted to talk to Friend online without me knowing, but that thought was quickly ended.  We had a couple of long running conversations about our lives and what we had gone through and where things were going in not only our personal lives but in our individual futures (most of the IM’s were at least a paragraph long…including his).  I stopped wondering about Friend pretty quickly because the minute I would finish typing, he’d start.  I understand completely why it’s often easier for men to write about their feelings or get things out in a way that they don’t have to immediately respond or feel rejected.  I do the same thing.  I asked questions on IM that I would never have asked him on the phone because I know he’s scared to death. 

 

To be honest, I don’t think he’s figured me out.  I’ve got a reasonably good handle on him though.  He’s looking to do the same thing he has always tried to do:  find a good woman to live happily ever after with.  The problem is that he no longer trusts himself to make that call.  Well…duh…after getting it wrong, wronger and wrongest, I’d have second thoughts too; in fact, I have them now, but we’re talking about him here or maybe we aren’t.  I’m all for trying to help him figure me out if it helps him figure his self out. 

 

Under that umbrella, I sent him to Myspace to take a look at Joe; I wanted him to understand that looks mean diddly squat to me and since I’ve heard over and over again, “Really?  You and HIM?”, I knew Joe was good for that purpose.  My family and friends often comment on my choice of men in the looks department.  Sorry, I’m just not superficial about things like that.  Superficial is for shoes and handbags! 

 

All in all, I think I left him wondering if I’d really ever give in and be with him (he’s as bad as I am about wondering about the future when we really shouldn’t).  I think he’s afraid I won’t be there when the chips are down.  And, he is SO RIGHT!  We have barely started to know each other.  There is no way to tell something like that until it happens.  As always, I say something and it’s what he was thinking or he says something and that’s what I was thinking.  Mind reading tricks are us!  But, it’s going to be a very long time before I give in and let myself be with someone unconditionally.  I may feel that love inside, but I know that it’s never going to be that easy again.  It took so much out of me to start over after Joe, and M. has beaten me down again.  It’s going to take time to rebuild and I know that Gig is in that same spot.  So how the HELL WILL THIS WORK???

 

 

 

 

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Morning all!

I don’t know how your day started, but mine started out with shaving Pascal’s butt. Yeah, you’re not that sleep deprived. I really did shave my dog’s butt this morning. “Why would a seemingly intelligent person do that?” you say?  Because my poor lil Pascal had a traumatic experience at his first vet visit.  Our elderly, half-deaf, retired-Army vet is really great; he’s cheap and no nonsense which I love.  However, the first visit test for internal parasites included a probe that was almost as long as Pascal was, and ever since anything that goes near his butt freaks him out.  I don’t want to paint you a mind burp (an unfortunate picture that stays with you for days), but long butt hair plus sticky poo doesn’t mix well where Pas is concerned!  The good news is that I know when its time for a butt shave because its also time to trim his face hair a little bit because you can’t see his eyes anymore.  It’s at this point that he looks like a cheap teddy bear because of his dark brown “button” eyes.   I would take a pic to illustrate this, but my Fuji FinePix A600 camera died recently leaving me to the horror of either my ancient crappy 3MP camera (a free gift with purchase…see pic on the Shallow blog) or my old-fashioned film camera (which isn’t bad, but the film gets expensive and we’re on a tight budget at the moment).  Hopefully, within the next month we will get a nice check (yay!) and I can get a new camera.  I love the pics at Dooce, Fussy, and two straight lines, and I’m going to have to pic their collective brains I think.  But, I have this gnawing idea that they have fancy digital SLR’s and there’s no way I can convince M. that anything more than $150 is necessary to my personal well-being.

On the craft side of things….

I think I may choose Nancy’s Waldorf-style star shaped softie/doll over at Belle Epoque for the first project.   Some of the softies I’ve seen have been really awesome, and I love the subtleties to their faces (especially teddybearbones’ at craftster).  Unfortunately, my sewing machine needs an alignment; so I’ll be better off with the star shape that I can sew by hand.  Unless someone has a better idea…

Hugs, Anna

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