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Posts Tagged ‘Kodos’

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I adore my friend Rachel’s little girl.  She is a cutie pie and a half.  However, I got an email today where Rach has entered a scholarship contest for cutest baby pic (Daddy’s Little Girl).  Apparently, all it takes to win this thing is to have enough votes.  I get it…sort of… 

Rachel seems to have an obsession with these online picture contests.  Yearbook.com is her version of porn.  She pits her daughter, her son, her husband, herself, and even her dog against anyone and everyone.  This includes a recent instance when she pitted her dog, Radagast, against a young couple’s wedding photo (and no…she didn’t know them).  He won.  She felt bad about it; I know because she said so every time she told anyone who would listen about her dog winning.   

Am I the only one who hates these things??? 

Let’s get this straight right now.  You’re kids are adorable and cute!  Yep, every darned one of them (even my cousin who looked for all the world like a red-haired baby monkey…they should’ve shaved him for the pictures).   

However…what used to be the terror of the playground is now the terror of the internet.  Mommy-one-upsmanship (MOU) has risen to epidemic proportions.  Bragging is one thing I get.  (hey, you’ve seen the pics of Pascal…I’m not about to give up pasting his little face on every surface real or digital anywhere someone will let me…the only thing that stops me in the real world are cops…when the government falls, my first step is to paint a giant Pascal on the big W’s parking lot…ya know, so Kang & Kodos will know where to pick us up)  But you have to have personal limits.  I adore my Pas, but consciously I know that he doesn’t photograph especially well (ok, I don’t photograph him especially well) and he’s not going to be voted cutest puppy of the millennium.  I wonder if the MOU’s know that underneath it all?  My baby brother Will was an adorable child and was always commented upon in public (imagine big pale blue eyes, long lashes, and long corkscrew golden blond curls…Mom was way ahead of Kate Hudson), but my mother never once tried to point it out to other people or put him in contests (even though it was suggested many times).  We took MUCH more pride in his manners and abilities (how many 3yr olds do you know that can take a chainsaw apart, fix it, and put it back together?  Yes, he did just that…oh how I wish we’d had a video camera back then).  Sure that’s another form of MOU, and no, I don’t approve of people shoving that one too much either.  But, at least, that one has to do with ability and not just luck-of-the-draw looks.   

I’m not a MOU, not really.  I know the difference between cute and “Quick! Call Hollywood!”  Anytime a third party says to me, “Isn’t so-and-so’s child just the most beautiful thing in the world?”  I find it hard not to go, “Uhhh…if you say so.”  Unfortunately, I’m not calling Hollywood for them.  I can say, “They’re cute.”  But, I think we all know what that means.  They’re cute for now; they shouldn’t get too used to it.  How torturous for some kids to be cute one day and get to the age when “they aren’t really all that adorable anymore” practically overnight.  They don’t call them the awkward years for nothin’.  How much of that suffering would be eliminated if people didn’t do the contests and bragging quite so much?  (We don’t have to give it up completely…just taper off…hence no pic of Pas THIS TIME)

And I’m pretty sure the scholarship goes to the kid…

Lesson for today: Obsession bad.

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