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Posts Tagged ‘The Soup’

 At least they do when you have cramps, and need a serious chocolate/sugar high.   I was seriously not in the mood for last night’s movie.  I livened up after dying Tina’s hair jet black and wandering in Walmart looking at the funky new bags they are getting in for spring (a couple were ok, but most of its Japanese schoolgirl and I just can’t even begin to pull that off).  But I should never ever doubt the Universe.   

In a place covered in 20-somethings and babies, I met someone who was still trying!  Rachel’s neighbor and I got to talking and found out we were almost in the same boat.  She’s only 30, but she’s been trying for a little longer than we have.  I couldn’t believe Rachel had never mentioned that, but it suddenly became clear as we were all talking that she considers it no big deal.  Admittedly, that kind of irked me and being PMS riddled I let it show just a tad by half-joking that these 20yr old with eggs coming out their ears never worry about this stuff.  Thankfully, she took it ok.  As she repeated her advice to always try 14 days after your period, I was imagining strangling her slowly.  (If I had done that for the past year, I would have hit the right time maybe once.)  Then she started saying how our husbands should only drink dark-colored colas because she saw something on the news.  About this time, the mental strangling made her eye pop out (just one eye…cuz I like her and all).  But at least, I met someone to commiserate with a bit though I’m not sure how hard her neighbor has been trying because they hadn’t even used an ovulation kit (she had been on birth control for 10yrs and figured it was still working its way out of her system after over a year).  I encouraged her to head down to the hospital because (1) it’s free for them and (2) another friend of mine was told by the Army docs she’d never conceive and the Army sent her for fertility treatments for free (now she’s about to have her baby girl).  That also irked me a little.  I still wish I had dragged M. in for a fertility check up before we got out of the Army and lost our medical coverage.  At the time, we had only tried for 2 mos. and knowing doctors they’d have patted us on the head and sent us packing.  But if it were available to us, I’d be knocking their door down right now! 

At any rate, the movie night was just what I needed.  They decided to do a Heath Ledger homage and watch Casanova (couldn’t find a copy of 10 Things I Hate About You).  I completely forgot Sienna Miller was the female lead in that; she should definitely consider keeping that rusty light brown hair color.  It was a very well-crafted movie that you could easily imagine as having been a Shakespearean play.  They hadn’t seen the Soup, and I told them about Joel’s quick memorial to Heath which was awesome.   

I feel a lot better today.  Brownies do fix everything.  Hallelujah!  And I still have hope for the Feng Shui (I only did it 2 days before fertility time…maybe it’s marinated enough now).  Also, apparently I can borrow a uterus from India for about $6K if we end up having to wait a couple of years for the big bucks to roll in.  Plus, I’m really appreciating all of you.  It’s quite amazing to me that anyone would listen to me ramble.  Thanks girls! 

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Heath Ledger

Can I just say that I loved Heath Ledger the moment I saw him in Roar (the short-lived television series) and although the hand-lick incident in Brokeback, left me a little…nonplussed (I wanted to say it left a bad taste in my mouth but it’s too soon), I still felt that he was a great talent that was untapped for the most part.  Sad that he will never be able to reach that star and Matilda will have to grow up without a daddy.  😦

UPDATE: I was watching The Soup last night (we’re old and it’s the closest we come to hip…besides it’s right after Monk), and Joel was so nice about Heath.  I can hardly imagine a nicer compliment from the Soup than to say he was a nice guy who not once ended up on their show.  I almost cried.

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pascal-haircut1a.jpg

Ok, so I’m sitting here in front of the new idiot box with one thought on my mind…since when does the state of the worlds have anything to do with real life? (And for those of you that thought I misspelled world. heehee You defy words.) You see lately I’ve gotten the impression that I’m shallow. More correctly, I’ve gotten the impression that others see me as shallow and that they believe that such a trait is a bad thing. Bollocks! Of course, I should point out that these people are not my friends or not what I’d call friends. See that’s the thing about being shallow, you have VERY FEW real friends most are of the air-kiss variety. I consider it a healthy way to get through life especially considering the fish bowl that I’m currently forced to live in (otherwise known as Fort Polk). It’s hard to find a real friend anywhere in the world, but having been pursued online by many a soldier (none of whom I gave a second thought to until I met one of the best of them…his ability to follow the orders of idiots without pulling his hair out is a testament to that!..I couldn’t do it…the IQ scores of his counterparts alone…uuughh), I finally understand why. The longer I’ve been in said fish bowl the more I understand soldiers that desperately seek out lifeforms other than those squelching along these paths. Mind you, I don’t think its entirely their fault. I’m sure some of them were damaged from birth, but most probably got sent flying off the trolley by being dragged without consideration from place to place. And before you scream about the benefits of economic conscription, such instability has long been pointed out as the cause of countless insecurities and neuroticism. Click your heels and toes then goose-step all the way to Walmart if you want, but let’s not pretend that if there were $50,000 a year jobs out there our men (or women) would still CHOOSE WILLINGLY to go to foreign lands looking for figments of certain god-fearing, friend-shooting terrorcrat’s (yes, that’s a real word) imagination. But I digress. As I was saying, I’m shallow, outwardly at any rate.

“Why be shallow?”, you might ask. Well the above tirade is a good reason. You see I’m most definitely not your typical military wife. Sure, none of the other military wives think they are either. And I’m here to tell you, some of them aren’t! But, there does seem to be a slippery slope here. You see most of these women are taken at a very young age into this twisted world long before they’ve had a chance to develop a sense of self or even cared to have an opinion. (Sound familiar to anyone?) What happens next? From what I’ve seen the “established” wives then very vocally point out their opinions on everything military. (I have to say I think most of them are trying to make themselves feel better.) Unless you’re very sure of yourself as a person, you can end up being led down a path where you keep silent around these “established” wives. Before you know it, you’re one of them. Being older and educated about the world outside this false mind compound known as a military base, I often listen carefully as I enter public areas waiting for the classic “Not one of us….” drone. Being shallow can only help me for so long. I think they’re on to me! If there are others out there like me, let me know how to find you. There is strength in numbers my friends.

If you’re not sure if you’d fit in with our kind, here are a few clues:

-You’re pretty sure Elizabeth Hasselbeck is an idiot.

-You prefer debates like “Who Wore It Best” and “Who is a bigger bitch?” in the tabloids. However, if you actually voted for an American Idol contestant and admit it openly, step away from the magazine rack. Keeping this activity as a guilty pleasure really gives you tons of extra points.

-You know that Sex and the City is not just a television show. It’s an inspiration for living. And you would SO fit right in with the rest of the cast.

-You’d rather watch the Daily Show than CNN.

-You often think, “If only the rest of the world took a healthy view of themselves in the same vein as The Soup looks upon television.”

You get the idea. I’m not looking for a revolution friends. I’m not asking for political debate. I’m just hoping for some nice sane shallowness. Join me won’t you…

P.S.- I wrote this while still in the Army, obviously.  Don’t worry I’m not always a bit of a nut.  Just most of the time!

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