Posts Tagged ‘third reich’

Wow, I can’t believe that I haven’t posted in almost a week.  Life hasn’t exactly been pleasant, but my school has assured me that by the 26th all will be well.

Since I’m living in denial at the moment, I’ve been alternately moping (aka lurking online especially at Etsy) and trying to find things to do around the house that cost nothing.  Wednesday night M. was getting ready for school, and I was mulling over all the things I could do once things were straightened back out.   

On the short list was redecorating the bedroom (seen in M.’s pic on the About Me page).  The dark, Arabian Nights meets Vampire the Masquerade theme was great at the apartment, but in the GT (ghetto trailer) it made the room really dark which is good if you like to sleep in (and M. does).  But it just felt wrong.  Being a hillbilly by birth (eastern KY), I am very superstitious and a complete believer in Feng Shui (Feng Shui Hillbilly what a great country/karaoke band…I loved their single “Karaoke Pokey”).  Many moons ago (before M.), I had Feng Shui’d the trailer and it hadn’t occurred to me to change any of it.  Once I had started thinking about redecorating, an idea popped into my head, ‘Is there any way to increase your chances of getting pregnant with Feng Shui?’  To my surprise, I found some articles online that insisted, “Yes, it is possible.”  [I’ve listed the links to the articles below.]   

M. scoffed.  He does that a lot.  It seems to be a basic part of his DNA. 

I, however, will take any advice at this point (if you’ve got tips send ‘em my way ladies!).  So far the only thing I haven’t done is stand on my head after sex and chant the Third Reich’s favorite poems (I always sucked at that…the standing on my head part…ok, the poetry too).  And according to the Feng Shui articles, our bedroom could not have been less conducive to baby making than…well…someone standing there reciting poems about what a wonderful fella that Hitler guy was while the bow-chicka-bow-wow went down. EEEWWW.  The bed was opposite its ideal position.  The deep, Valentino red (Walmart Colorplace paint) was burning up all the chi.  M. was sleeping in the wrong spot.  And, although the room was designed for marital passions (and worked in that regard thank you very much), it was not designed with a family focus.   

Still M. sat staring at the tv and scoffing intermittently.  Little did he know (and really, by now he should know!) that a few feet away I was figuring out if I had any green paint or if I’d have to settle for the Orange Whip (which is actually a yellow-based cream color from Walmart) that’s on our ceilings.   

Oh how I hoped there would be some green.  I despise cream colored rooms.  The only way they look right to me is when the trim is painted in pure white or another high contrast trim color such as black.  Then the cream looks deliberate.  Otherwise, it just looks like rental properties.  Yuck.   

Uh…Ignore unintentional ranting due to military life flashback. 

Anyhow, M. woke me and Pas up at 6am on Thursday, and within an hour, he was gone and I had procured a nearly full gallon of white paint and a quart of Peapod (yeah…Walmart again…I know I am the downfall of small town life).  When M. returned at 1pm, I had just put the finishing touches on the second coat of the mint green paint (with a soft, dulled, country look…not counting the primer coat…and all thanks to a well-placed box fan).   

He almost fainted.  Did I mention that M. hates green?  ::evil snickering::    Feng Shui Fertility Links- 

About.com’s page on Feng Shui tips/cures for fertility

The Red Lotus Letter’s article “Fertility Feng Shui”

Another more in-depth article at Lending Expo

Read Full Post »