Over the weekend Gig and I sort of broke up. I say sort of because it’s all a bit up in the air. In the space of a couple of hours, he went from telling me he couldn’t wait to see me to sending me a long winding dear john letter about how he needed someone closer to him and that he hated that he had fallen in love with me because I was so far away. Two hours away. Yeah, it’s like going to the freakin’ moon, buddy.
He wanted to keep talking though, and we got on the phone last night for a few minutes. Everything, sadly, was just as good and comfortable as it had always been. That sucks most of all. He swears that he’s not seeing anyone else or anything like that but that there are other “prospects”. lol Aren’t there always? It’s not like I don’t have a few going at any given time. I just put them on hold this last week because it looked like I’d found something special. I know. I’m incredibly naïve and HoS (heart on sleeve) about love.
At least I know for sure that it wasn’t about my body. I guess it’s time to confess. Gig and I did sleep together this last week. In fact, we spent two days together for our “first date”. I know that sounds like a major ho spill on aisle Honeywine, but remember that we’d spent over 100 hours on the phone and had been talking non-stop for a month. The sex was basically the only thing we hadn’t covered, and if you don’t click on that level when everything else is so good, it’s going to get ugly. We clicked. I wore his ass out although I was occasionally in pain from it. It was technically flawless, but I did tell Ginger that it was not the best I’d ever had and no, I’m not just saying that now (I just can’t give in to it entirely without knowing there’s a future…so I’m a tart with a heart I guess). He did have some trouble keeping up with me a couple of times, but from what I hear every guy has that happen once in a while. I got him back on track. It was definitely “make” and not “break” sex. We spent a couple of hours together that night before we parted holding hands and sharing long breathless looks. It meant something, and that was not all in my head.
So why did I lose? In his words, “I know myself” and “I can’t do the long distance thing again”. It seems I’m worth falling in love with, but just try adding me to your schedule! If I lived there, that would be different according to him. Sorry, I’m not moving 2 hours away without a commitment. I left crazy behind a while ago.
Honestly, I thought it would hurt more than this, and it doesn’t. It stings a little, but I’ve come to terms with it. I’m glad that we slept together. I think it got me over some body image hurdles even though I’m well aware that such thinking is far from PC. I’ll miss him. Yes, he still wants to talk and to share our lives, but a big part of me believes that what he wants most is to play the field until I finish things up here, and that he’ll probably crawl back wanting me to move down there when my school is over here. It’s not like it doesn’t intellectually make sense, but this is me and last I heard I was just not that cosmopolitan. I am an all or nothing gal. I’ll take nothing, thanks.
I’m not saying I won’t talk to him. He’ll be back. He complained at the end of our “date” that most women just screwed him once or twice and then left him high and dry. I told him I wasn’t like that and that if this got screwed up, he’d be the one to do it. It seems that I just can’t stop being right. When you lead off with pics of giant penis, you’re going to get a certain type of woman and he does. Unfortunately, an actual whore only wants two things: money and sex. He can only offer one of those. And you can’t have sex 24/7. It is inevitable that he will be used and tossed aside, and I’ll get a text or email as a result. I don’t know what I’ll do then. He was honest with me every step of the way, and yes, that is something that I had pretty much lost hope about. I didn’t think there was an honest man left in the world. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I find it hard to walk away from that.
Dull boy did put in an appearance shortly after the break-up email. He’s still relatively dull. 🙂 But I made it clear to him a while back (before Gig even) that Dull boy and I would not be a forever thing. We can hang out, but that’s about it. He and I are each other’s entertainment. He’s great with that or so he says. I hope that he doesn’t end up getting serious. I don’t want to have to go through that. Did I mention that he wears nipple rings? I’m sorry, but that’s just weird to me. lol And don’t get me started on the chest hair waxed into the shape of a lightning bolt! 😀 But, the Christmas tree he has planned would be festive! lol
Still haven’t heard anything from the Deputy. As I said, he seemed very worried about my marital status, and that may have scared him off. It probably didn’t help that I didn’t talk to him the day after our date. I did send him an email that Sunday suggesting we get together last week, but he hasn’t been online since I sent the email. So, he might have thought that he had gotten blown off and went off to lick his wounds. Who knows?
So, who is going to be in charge of bringing the chips and dip to my intervention? 🙂
awwww are you ok?
Sorry. Men are just confusing.
I’ll bring the chips, dip, and straightjacket!
Girl, you are a C.H.O.C. (crazy ho outta control)
Stupid boys.
Ill bring the onion dip and the cookie dough
Ill bring the onion dip and the cookie dough
I might just have to root for the Mangina again. Sorry things didn’t work out with Gig. Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to meet a prince.
Geeez there are some proper silly boys out there! You are so right that showing giant penis pics first up will get the wrong kind of attention. That’s a given huh?
I think you are very sensible playing it cool and not compromising your independence for a guy who doesn’t know wtf he wants.
You said that he complained women screw him and leave him high and dry – isn’t that exactly what he just did? I would be veryyyyy cautious if I were you!
Wow – so much in such a short time. I’m sorry for the “crazy”. It’s so confusing!
I’m sorry this happened. Men really suck sometimes! But I have to be honest and remember, this may just be my opinion, just because you thought the sex was decent doesn’t mean he did. And while sex is important in a relationship it’s not everything, but men tend to see it as more important sometimes. Then, of course, is the distance which I certainly don’t think 2 hours is a big deal but to a guy, that can mean light years away and a lot of time spent not having a chance to really get to know one another.
Things will work out the way they’re meant to. Just hang in there! xo
I just have to add…what a jackass!
Well…. ummm.. at least you got to use him for sex. Sorry he’s confused about what he wants.
So, Mr. Penis wasn’t all that, huh? No surprise there. If you post pics of your “big” penis, you’ve got some issues. I’m sure it had nothing to do with you, Honey. He’s just a fucktard who posts pics of his penis and thinks that’s enough.
So, Dull Boy has nipple rings and a lightning bolt carved in his chest hair? And he’s dull? That does not seem possible.
I hope you’re feeling better, girl. Men can be so awful sometimes.
What Lola said!
Leading with pictures of your penis reallys speaks volumes. Really sounds like he was only looking for one thing.
Ok first: LMAAAO@ “ho spill on aisle Honeywine”!
2nd: Meh. He’ll be back. Boys are stupid.
OMG! This jackass added me on his friends and then sent me a message saying, “hey beautiful…what’s up?” or something like that. So I told his ass off! Then, he tried to pretend like he didn’t know who I was. WTF?!
Honey, you are so well rid of him.
I’ll try to bring some type of food – but knowing me only half or less will actually make it to the party. I may end up eating it on the way.
Well, all you can do is move forward. At least it doesn’t hurt as bad as you thought. And it must make you feel a bit better that it has nothing to do with your body – I think you are overly concerned about that.
I’ll bring Doritos and cheese dip. 🙂
Love the “tart with a heart” comment, lol.
And him saying everyone leaves him after sex…sounds like he’s projecting his actual issues onto others.
Keep going through the frogs. You’ll get to your prince eventually.