I can’t be bothered to hand-code this today. So, bear with me and squint. Ok?
My date with Gigantor is off. And, since I can no longer judge anything in my life, I’m going to ask ya’ll to do it for me. I received an email yesterday evening canceling our date (I just found it this morning) after Gig. and I had been on the phone that evening. Everything was great. Conversation was normal. When we got off the phone to make our respective dinners, he told me to call him back after he finished dinner and showered. Later when I called, I got voicemail but I figured he’d had to deal with his brother (his brother had some problems for the last few days which led to Gig talking to his ex-girlfriend…apparently she’s friends with Gig’s brother’s steady…he told me all about this and was very above board…I got that “ugghh” feeling but I tried to shake it off because he was talking to me while he was messaging her and it seemed harmless…did I mention that I have a very jealous nature? I know that about myself and I try to keep it under control, but sometimes it’s hard for me to tell whether someone is up to something or if I’m just being overly suspicious). Of course, this morning that all changed.
Now, I’m going to do something that maybe I shouldn’t do, but like I said, I have no sense of judgement anymore. I need ya’ll to help me out here and interpret. Say it loud too! I need to know just how crazy I am.
The following are emails that I’ve received from Gig in the past 3 days. I feel a little unethical about allowing potentially the whole world to see his private emails, but I figure I own them now. This first one was in response to my pictures and email about my body issues:
Anna i really like you i think i could possibly fall for you but your fear made me think (and no it’s not cause of your body) lol i’ve started to wander if you’ll be happy with me…i can keep up with you no problem but i’m not as young as i used to be and i’m not sure for how long i can keep up lol so what do ya say about that 😀 i’m never any good at confrontation lol and i always feel bad if i make anyone else feel bad so i normaly find a way to do it making sure noone is hurt or that i don’t have to hear it in your voice…so tell me what your thoughts are…my bro’s havin a crisis lol i’ll call you in a bit when he calls back k |
We had several normal days of texts and conversations, but none of a sexual nature (before this we had been in the naughty, sexy talk stage). This email was also sent the day the things with his brother started, and just prior (as in an hour or so) before we were talking and he told me he was messaging his ex.
Now for this morning’s email calling it all off:
Ok here it goes i guess you’ll say that yes i’m backing out…no it’s not you and no it’s not anything you did or how you look or anything like that and no i’m not giving up i just need some time to think i got a call from an old friend that i tried really hard to be more than friends with and she said she wanted to try it again and i just don’t know now what i really want god help me i’ll probably end up screwing this whole thing up and ending up alone still lmao i’m really sorry that i couldn’t tell you on the phone but i’m not very good with confrontations i just didn’t want to just not show up or not answer the phone or anything…please don’t hate me for this i really am not leading you on i’m just confused right now and don’t wanna make any harsh decissions right now so i’m gonna get dressed and go out whatch my lil brother play pool and chear him on and think ok i’ll call or text you tomorrow when i get a break alright and again i’m so very very sorry 😦 |
On the one hand, I can totally get that. We all remember Joe, right? It took me about a month to figure out that Joe was just a figment of my imagination. Yes, he and I still talk occasionally, but things are strained. I’ve come to believe that Joe’s entrance in my life was the Universe’s way of saying, “The marriage has been over, and you can move on.”
I can’t fault Gig for having those same questions, I guess. Heck, I’ve been there. I’ve been hurt and I’ve been the one inflicting pain. Part of me thinks that I’m just being set aside for when this old love of his shows her true colors again. 😦 The other thinks that he’s been honest all along and there’s no reason to doubt him now. But the deepest, darkest part of me, thinks that I really shouldn’t have sent those pictures. 😥
Anybody out there got a crystal ball?
I don’t know what to tell ya babe. If he’s being honest with his feelings (which I kind of think he is), then that would only make your friendship? relationship? stronger down the road.
If he is just backing out because he’s scared or because of the pictures…then he doesn’t deserve you anyway.
Your intuition told you something was up, but that could just mean that you wouldn’t get to see him this weekend.
Step up or step off, remember? Don’t forget that, and I won’t either. Deal?
I am sorry, Sweetie. I doubt it had to do with the pictures, but if it did….then he wasn’t the one for you anyway.
I know it sounds cliche, but there are more fish in the sea.
I’m sorry.
Just move on. There are more fish in the sea!
Hell, just go to the library! 😉 Just kidding!
It’s hard to tell what is going on in someones head, but I don’t think it had anything to do with the pictures. My guess is he’s so not over the old friend and she’s playing a game with his head. I wouldn’t second guess the picture thing and assume he’s trying to be honest with you about things. Remember you really just started looking for a guy not to long ago and there are a lot to sort through, don’t get discouraged.
I’m terrible about 2nd guessing people I know, much less people I really don’t have a clue as to the ways their brains work. I get a sense that he would really like to give the “old friend” a try and see if there are any sparks there and also didn’t want to keep stringing you along. That’s fair and if that’s his motivation, then he’s also being honest with you.
The bottom line is: it doesn’t matter what his reasons are and whatever they are is no reflection on the type of person you are.
Back when I was on the dating scene, I just resigned myself to the fact that I would have to kiss a lot of toads to find my prince. It’s worth it to be patient! 🙂 Love ya!
I am still rooting for Jon the Manjina 😉
Seriously girl, it isn’t you, it’s the crazies you attract. I am sure ol Gigantor had the best intentions when he wrote those emails….and judging by his lack of punctuation and
capitalization I don’t think he could be devious enough to have tried to string you along. He was telling you the truth.
I dont know..Im sorry!
I’m starting to think he was telling the truth myself, but I’m not too sure about it . I’ve gotten some opinions from several men on the subject and they are of the opinion that it’s probably both the “starting to fall” thing (scary with 2 divorces and a recent long term ex-gf) and the tempting friend thing. Hey, we haven’t been talking long, and I can’t say I wouldn’t feel the same.
We texted several times yesterday, and then I got a weird message from him about 6pm. Before I got that last email, we had been talking on the phone and he said he had to work late Saturday. After the email, I assumed it was a lie to get out of the date. Then l had a text from him come through kind of late (when he should have been at work), so I responded that I was online if he wanted to talk since I wasn’t sure if I should call or not. And, I got the message, “Who is this?” I won’t lie. My heart sank a little, but I just typed back, “Very funny, *pet name*” A few minutes went by and no response, and I thought, ‘He meant that.” So, I sucked it up and sent a farewell message saying that I wouldn’t bother him anymore. Then, I got another lengthy message saying that it was his trainer using his phone (the cadence was very different from Gig’s) and that Gig was going to be working for a while. Maybe he is telling the truth.
I guess I’ve crawled out on the limb this far…a few more inches won’t hurt. 😦
I’m sorry….yeah, it sucks. It does sound like he was being honest with you, and in which case, he needs to get his sh*t together anyway.
Hang in there, sweetie.
I don’t think it had anything to do with the pictures, as well. I can see how you would go there, but DON’T! Whether he’s being honest or not, I can’t say for sure, but just live and learn. Do your best to move on, but take him for his word. In the mean time, have a glass of wine and a night with your best friend. It’ll do wonders!
Hugs,
-D
Some guys are not good at being forthright with their feelings and intentions, and some probably have a hard time telling the truth to a woman’s face. I am bummed for ya, but you know – everything happens for a reason (don’ ‘t hate me 4 saying it!). (((hugs)))
I guess the ball is kind of in his court. If you are still interested in him, then I guess you have to kind of let him figure out how he feels about you. It’s kind of hard for him to know just HOW he feels about you when he hasn’t even met you.
I doubt it was the pictures, too.
I guess it wasn’t the pictures. It’s just a lot of his own baggage. Whatever happened to strong, silent men? Oy, Ginger’s already been on to me about picking damaged men. What can I say? It’s my favorite flavor. 😦 Oh well, who isn’t damaged anymore?
Gigi- I NEVER HATE THE TRUTH! I always respect someone who says what they’re thinking even if I don’t want to hear it or don’t agree with it. I think Alex P. Keaton said it best when talking about his father, “He doesn’t have to make you wrong for him to be right.” I wish everyone had that live and let live attitude.
At least he was honest with you. Its better than wondering what the hell happened
Okay, first – I like this better uncoded. LOL. Let the theme do it’s thing and those who need to can make it bigger on their screen if they have to. It looks fine here for me. You could save yourself some trouble.
Next, I don’t know what pictures you sent but I am going to go out on a limb here and say that I severely doubt your pics had anything to do with what is going on here. You are very beautiful from what I’ve seen so that can’t be it. He does seem to be very non-commital. Like he just doesn’t seem sure – a lot of nervous laughter in both the first and second messages. So it seems like he is being honest in that he just doesn’t know what he wants and isn’t sure what direction to go in, but given the chance to get together with someone he tried to before who he knows a bit from the real world may just seem more secure to him right now. I’d say he is still just a confused and lost person and it doesn’t at all sound like he meant to hurt or lead you on. I give him credit for letting you know and not just not showing up or whatever.
When people that frequently use LOL in e-mails stop LOLing, it is a serious sign. He sounds wishy-washy and needs an LOL intervention. You’re probably better off with him gone.